Because we are failing to disciple men effectively. Studies show that for every 10 men in the average church:

• 9 will have kids who leave the church
• 8 will not find their jobs satisfying
• 6 will pay monthly minimum on credit cards
• 5 have a major problem with pornography
• 4 will get divorced affecting 1,000,000 children each year
• Only 1 will have a biblical worldview
• All 10 will struggle to balance family & work
       (Statistics cited by Man In the Mirror)

In the PCA we may be doing a little better than the average church, but the bar is still way too low!

• God has assigned men a strategic position of influence in the covenant family, church, and community. He has designed our wives to be responders, and our children to have many needs that we must meet as their fathers.  If we help men get it right, everybody wins.
• A strong discipleship ministry for men results in spiritually stronger men, which leads to spiritually stronger church leaders, which leads to stronger churches, which glorifies Christ.
• Jesus built his church by discipling men.

1. DEEPER CONNECTION IN THE BODY:  Helping men build friendships with other men for encouragement and accountability (the body building itself up in love)
2. DEEPER OBEDIENCE TO CHRISTS COMMANDS:  Providing biblical teaching for men that is specific to their temptations and responsibilities as men (discussing the truth in love)

Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. Eph. 4:15-16

• It takes time for males to bond. They don’t go from 0 to 60 instantly.
• Men tend to build relationships shoulder to shoulder, so recreational and service opportunities are a means to helping men connect as well as use their gifts.
• Small group discussion at seminars and on retreats also help men connect.
• It is helpful to think of these activities as part of the process of helping men move down the discipleship path towards deeper connection with some brothers.

• Brand loyalty is at an all-time low in our culture while working hours and commute time are at an all-time high. Therefore, men don’t show up just because the bulletin says a men’s event is planned.
• Men are less likely than teens, singles, children, and women, to attend an event just to be with their friends. They may know they need connection, but being friends with some guys at church is not very high on most men’s priority list.
• Many men already feel guilty about being away from home so much to do their jobs. So, we have to overcome the guilt and pressure he feels not to be away from the family more.
• The availability of graphic pornography means that more men are enslaved to secret sins than ever before. Fearing that their wives or children might find out, they may participate in something safe like a church softball team or work project, but will avoid events that connect them to other men at the spiritual level.

• Make the event too valuable for men to miss. Find out what is most valuable to your men. (See the next FAQ question)
• Do fewer events but do them well.
• Get ownership of the event by engaging the men’s ministry team and key influencers in the planning and conducting of the event.
• Don’t plan or expect every event to appeal to every man. Niche plan and market. One group of guys may want to meet at a pub and discuss a book. Another group might have a before-work bible study. Another group may love cycling together. Promote all three groups and challenge them to help their men support each other in their spiritual battles.
• Get your leadership team to personally invite men to events and pick them up.

Surveys Conducted Among Christian Men Reveal Where They Want Spiritual Help:

1. With their marriages—the number one request on men’s surveys.
2. Battling sexual temptation—the temptation men struggle with most.
3. Better managing their time—sticking to the right priorities and being consistent in the spiritual disciplines.
4. Being the spiritual leader in their homes—knowing how to meet their wives needs how to disciple their kids.
5. Seeing their job as a calling from God and receiving Biblical wisdom for tough, job-related issues.
6. Being more faithful in outreach to the lost. Most men feel like spiritual failures because they are doing little to share their faith.
7. Finding a brother for friendship, encouragement, and accountability.
8. Getting control of their anger and becoming more patient.
9. Investing their lives not just for success, but for significance.
10. Knowing how to satisfy their hearts more by delighting in God.

The root need of every man is satisfying his soul more in Christ. But as he sees the biblical answers to the above felt needs, the result is that his walk with Christ is energized.

Here are five discipleship programs that over ten PCA churches have used:

• Journey Groups  (Basic training. Groups of about 5 by gender, are leader-led, 3 year curriculum from,  Randy Pope)
• Men’s Fraternity (weekly DVD’s with table discussion. Begins with wounds to the masculine heart, 3 year curriculum including the topic of “Winning at Home,” Robert Lewis)
• Man In the Mirror  (numerous books, DVD’s, seminars, free podcast studies on nearly every men’s issue, Pat Morley)
• The Masculine Mandate  (A book used for small group study on the call to biblical manhood) By PCA TE Rick Phillips)
• Forging Bonds of Brotherhood (A 60 page book used for small group study to help a beginning or  existing study build trust and move towards sharing spiritual battles more, PCA TE Gary Yagel)

See our tool box section for more ministries, seminars, and tools organized by topic.

• Be clear about the target—every man connected to a few brothers who are helping him fight his spiritual battles. Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  Eccl. 4:12
• Continually convey this truth to men: God doesn’t want you fighting your spiritual battles alone.
• Communicate this message through:  1) church leaders who model having an accountability partner themselves, 2) giving men who have such brotherhood connections the opportunity to tell their story, 3) directly challenging men—“We want every man in our church connected to some brothers who are praying for his inner battles.”
• By strategically using every men’s event in the church to help deepen their relationships.
• By considering many paradigms for connection—men’s Sunday school classes, men’s bible studies, Jonathan and David connections for breakfast, lunch, or weekly phone call, mentoring relationships, etc.