CDM Archive

Discipleship Ministries of the PCA

Editor

The Case for a Men’s Discipleship Program

by

The Case for a Men’sDiscipleship Program
by Patrick Morley


The Presenting Problem

There is raging all around us a battle for men’s souls. Men are under siege as husbands, fathers, workers, citizens, and churchmen. Many have already failed.

A man said, “My marriage is perfect.” One year later an addiction to pornography irretrievably shattered his marriage into a thousand shards.

“For 30 years I’ve spent 80 hours a week at work because that’s what I wanted to do. I went to church one hour a week. I’ve missed it. I know that there is another step I need to take.”

“I didn’t give my wife a voice. Now I can’t convince her I want to change.”

“No matter what I did I could never please my father. And I’m doing it all over again to my own son.”

Men are under siege because their wives feel emotionally neglected or controlled, their children are going astray, they’ve become addicted to pornography or other idols, they have overspent and struggle under a load of debt, and/or they are chasing worldly success.

Other men are under siege because they are trying to do too many of the right things. They are trying to be super-dad who makes all the games, the perfect husband who meets all the emotional needs of his wife, a churchman who makes a contribution, and the good provider who can afford the right schools and labels. They are tired. We have created a culture that requires more energy than men have to give.

The Consequences

For every 10 men in your church…

  • 9 will have kids who leave the church (1)

  • 8 will not find their jobs satisfying (2)

  • 6 pay the monthly minimum on their credit card balances (3)

  • 5 have a major problem with pornography (4)

  • 4 will get divorced affecting 1,000,000 children per year (5)

  • only 1 has a biblical worldview (6)

  • all 10 will struggle to balance work and family

When a man fails it sets powerful forces of bondage and brokenness in motion. It can take several generations to break the cycle. I know. It has been almost 80 years since my grandfather abandoned my dad, and our family has yet to fully recover from that man’s horrific decision.

As America staggers beneath the load of a 100 major problems like divorce, fatherlessness, poverty, pornography, adultery, abortion, disrespect for authority, ethical failures, and truancy-where have the men gone? Where are the men? What has happened to our men?

These are not bad men. No man fails on purpose. They are, for the most part, men with good intentions. They are men for whom Christ died. He takes no delight in the death of the wicked. But they lack spiritual power.

The Root Cause

Why do so many men lack spiritual power? Why do so many men seem tepid in their faith? Why do so many men seem lukewarm? The answer is that these men were never discipled with the spiritual weaponry to become Godly men, husbands, and fathers. Jesus said, “The problem is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know they power of God” (Matthew 22:29, NLT).

No church leader would disagree that making disciples is a central mission, perhaps the central mission, of the church. However, in our generation the church has taken its eye off the ball. The Barna Group reports that only 16% of church-attending adults are involved in discipleship programs such as small groups, Sunday schools, and other classes (Barna, 2000). And men are even less likely than women to be involved in discipleship (Barna, 2004).

Many church leaders indicate a profound dissatisfaction with the number of men in their churches who are disciples. It is well known within the field of men’s ministry that since 1990 many churches have implemented men’s discipleship programs but have been unable to sustain them.

We have not been effective in making disciples, especially among men, and therefore we are failing significantly to achieve one of our central missions. Not making disciples is the root cause of the battle in which we find ourselves.

The Solution

What is the solution? The last words of Jesus arguably comprise the most important speech ever recorded in the history of the world. We know them as The Great Commission…

All authority in heaven and earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Teach them to obey everything I have commanded you. And I will be with you to the end of the age (Matthew 28:18-20).

More millions of people and billions of dollars have been mobilized as a result of this brief speech than any other words ever uttered.

The solution to this problem is for us to get back to the central mission of the Christian church: making disciples. The final marching orders from Jesus are, “Go and make disciples.” Those orders still stand. They have not been amended, altered, or rescinded.

It is worth reflecting on the fact that Jesus could have said anything. For example…

  • He could have said, “Go and make worshippers.” But he didn’t. He said, “Go and make disciples.”

  • He could have said, “Go and make workers.” But he didn’t. He said, “Go and make disciples.”

  • He could have said, “Go and make tithers.” But he didn’t. He said, “Go and make disciples.”

Does that mean Jesus isn’t interested in worshippers, workers, and tithers? Of course he is. But Jesus knew we don’t get worshippers by trying to make worshippers. We get worshippers by making disciples. Jesus knew we don’t get workers by trying to make workers. We get workers by making disciples. And so on. The key to success at every point is, “Go and make disciples.”

There is one, and only one, way in which a man can win the battle for his soul. He must become a disciple of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

The Plan: All-Inclusive Men’s Ministry

If you have 100 men in your church, what is the size of your men’s discipleship ministry? The correct answer is 100. A dozen white haired men having breakfast together once a month and six guys in a Bible study on Wednesday morning are good. But that leaves 82 men unaccounted for. You’re setting those men up to lose the battle.

The church is the only institution in the world that cares about men’s souls. To fulfill Christ’s commission, your church should have a concrete plan to disciple every willing man. If not us, then who?

This is a battle we can win. We cannot, we must not and, by God’s grace, together we will not fail.

maninthemirrorlogo.jpgCopyright

A Healthy Church – A Layman’s Letter to His Pastor

by

A Healthy Church (A Layman’s Letter to His Pastor)
by Patrick Morley

Dear Pastor,

As I was sitting in church on Sunday, I decided to write you this letter. When the service began, this is what I found myself thinking…

I’m here, pastor, I’m here. I worked 55 hours this week (that’s five days from 8 to 6 and 2 hours every night after the kids went to bed), slept 48 hours (I’m short one whole night), spent Saturday morning shuttling between soccer games, worked Saturday afternoon on the yard, took my wife to dinner Saturday night, and now here I am on Sunday morning.

All week long the world has told me to buy everything from computers to cars, and to want everything from more sex to more fun. My boss is not happy with me, nor I with him. My spouse appreciates my problems, but she has problems of her own. She’s frustrated that I don’t spend enough time with the family, but doesn’t complain about the money. Besides, I can’t share many of my struggles with her-like sexual temptations, work overload, and how to cover all these bills. The kids need more of me, but it’s not like they can really tell the difference-I’ve always shorted them.

Meanwhile, I read my Bible and prayed four mornings this week-a total of one hour. I don’t wake up in the morning wanting to fail. My intentions are good, but I still fall short. I’ve come here to receive some encouragement and direction from God. Now, what do you want me to do? What can you say to me?

Because I love you so much and want the best for you, I decided to write a letter and share my thoughts about our church. I’m only speaking for myself, but here are ten things I think most of us really need.

1. A HEALTHY THEOLOGY

First and foremost, I need a healthy theology. These questions haunt me: “Does God know about the problems of his people? Does He care? Can He do anything about it? What is He doing? Will He take care of us? Is God sitting in heaven wringing his hands about a world running amuck? How should we respond to the struggles and opportunities of daily life? What should be our relationship to the world?” I may only be a layman, but I don’t see how a church can be healthy unless it gets its theology right. I need the church to tell me to keep the Sabbath-no one else is. I need the church to tell me to tithe-no one else is. Theology starts with the Bible: right reading = right thinking = right believing = right doing. Please don’t give up on me, I need you to help me become a disciple.

2. A HEALTHY PASTOR

I need my pastor to be the man he wants me to become. If he’s to be a healthy pastor, he must create some space for himself. He needs to focus mainly on his own private life with Christ. He’s got to minister to me out of the overflow of his own relationship with Jesus. So first, he’s got to first make sure that he has enough “Jesus” for himself. Then he will have enough to give away to the rest of us. Also, I’m depending on him to take responsibility for his own marriage, children, finances, and health.

3. A HEALTHY LEADERSHIP

The best thing a leadership team, under the direction of the pastor, can do is to become to each other what they want us to become as a church. They shouldn’t ask us to do things that they themselves are unwilling to do (a common mistake). They must lead by example. They’ve got to take seriously the leadership qualifications of 1Timothy 3 and Titus 1. I need them to create a culture of prayer-not merely believe in prayer, but pray. They can get organized-I’d appreciate it-but mostly I need them to stick to the work of teaching, shepherding, and prayer. My family needs them to be careful not to run the church like a business. Please show us a 1 Corinthians 12 “one body, many parts” display of unity and mission.

4. A HEALTHY DREAM

Ideas are more powerful than labor. Ideas unleash forces that cannot be contained. What idea will capture my imagination as one of the sheep? The pastor and the leadership team must help me to see in my mind a “picture” of where they want me to go, and what success as a Christian man will look like. Otherwise, how will I know what to do, and whether or not I’ve done it? Grounded in Scripture, related to current culture, they draw for me a portrait of what this looks like in day-to-day practice.

5. A HEALTHY EXPECTATION

I like to win, and winning would be easy except for a couple of things. First, I have opposition, and my opposition wants to win too. I’d have no problem scoring if it weren’t for all those mean looking men trying to knock me down. So, help me understand what to expect, and how to play fair. Second, not all the players on our church team are equally strong or committed. Let’s never cut our weakest and least committed players-we don’t give up on people. I need my church to remind me of eventual victory, but help me realize that for now we must function more like a hospital for broken people than a team of superstars headed to the Super Bowl.

6. A HEALTHY PLAN

Any car manufacturer knows it cannot offer one model in one color and expect much success-though once upon a time it was so. In the same way, a successful church cannot offer a “one size fits all” ministry plan-though perhaps once upon a time it could. A healthy church will have some plan for ministry that differentiates the needs of different groups based on either age, spiritual maturity, gender, life phase, and/or special needs. I need to know that all my family members are being thought of at every stage.

At the same time, we need to be sure that we are developing healthy men. If we will disciple our men, they in turn will lead their wives and children to deeper faith in Christ. Like Jesus, let’s place a high priority on reaching men.

7. A HEALTHY BALANCE

I know my church can’t be all things to all people. It’s always going to reflect the interests and vision of our pastor and leadership. Still, a healthy church has to cover all the right bases, even as it specializes on its own distinctives. Suppose a church focuses primarily on, say, meeting the needs of the poor or missions. To be healthy that church must balance itself with proper emphasis on worship, evangelism, discipleship, fellowship, and other types of ministry.

8. A HEALTHY SERVICE

When I come to the worship service I come to give and to receive. I come to give worship, praise, and adoration. To worship literally means, “to kiss, the way a dog licks its master’s hand.” Help me do this. I also come to receive: to hear a word from the Lord-a word of instruction, or encouragement, or challenge. I hope to be staggered by God’s love, overpowered by His grace, astonished by His mercy, overwhelmed by His presence. A healthy worship experience helps each of us become a holy place.

9. A HEALTHY CONNECTION

I know the Bible is the word of God, and believe it offers explanations for all matters of faith and life. I need you to help me connect the dots between what my Bible says and what happens on Monday morning when the phones start ringing and customers start complaining. How do I make the connection? A healthy church draws us “out” of the world for repair, then sends us back “into” the world as agents of reconciliation.

10. A HEALTHY LAITY

If my church will pay attention to these nine things-a healthy theology, pastor, leadership, dream, expectation, plan, balance, service, and connection-we will be blessed with a healthy laity. We will become a humble community of saints that cheer each other’s victories, weep over each other’s sorrows, reprove each other’s mischief, and encourage each other’s strengths. We will become a family that doesn’t discard its weak nor abandon its young to the wolves. We will think the best of each other’s intentions, and hope the best for every member. We will have a vision for how we should engage the world. As a result, good news will be preached to the poor, prisoners will be set free, the blind will see, the deaf will hear, the lame will walk, and the oppressed will be set free. We will see Jesus.

With Great Appreciation for all You Do as our Pastor,

Your friend,

Jim

APPLICATION

  1. Which of these ten characteristics does your church do best? How so?

  2. Which of these then characteristics have been blind spots in your church?

  3. What can/should you do about it?

What’s Happening Around the PCA? Christ Community

by


What’s Happening Around the PCA? God is Moving In Men’s Ministry!

Samson and the Pirate Monks, By Nate Larkin. Because of his own story of addiction and loss, Nate Larkin knows every man’s heart combines sinner and saint, pirate and monk. His book is about a real group of men who aren’t afraid to say so-real men whose honest admission of weakness has been the doorway to authentic calling.

They call themselves the Samson Society. They started in Christ Community Church, Franklin TN, and their society is spreading to other PCA churches. Go to www.samsonsociety.org. to find out more.

Scotty Smith, the founding pastor of Christ Community writes, “Long before he sat down to commit his thoughts on the page, I watched Nate write about Samson and the Pirate Monks with his brokenness, his tears, and his thirst for the mercy and grace of God. And now, I have the joy of seeing the fruit of his journey and labor of love when I look into the eyes of men in our church who are part of the Samson Society-men who are discovering the wonder of the gospel, the necessity of brotherhood, and the hope of change.” Scotty Smith, Founding Pastor of Christ Community Church, Franklin, TN

The Outrageous Idea of Academic Faithfulness: A Guide for Students

by

If this title sounds similar to George Marsden’s The Outrageous Idea of Christian Scholarship, it is no mere coincidence. Marsden says, “This book provides clear and accessible guidelines on how to relate one’s faith to academics. I hope it will be widely read.” Walt Mueller writes, “This book addresses numerous timely issues related to the place of academics in the life of the Christian student. Nothing I have seen yet addresses these particular issues with a combination of theological depth and easy accessibility that mark this book.” Therefore, I am in good company when I say, by all means read this and give it to your teenagers, especially those headed for a college or university.

The authors call for “academic faithfulness;” and by that they simply mean what Malik does in the earlier review about the unity of faith and learning, the integration of faith and intellect. Even though the authors state that the Christian life is much more than academic faithfulness, much of the rest depends on this area. They claim that this is a book about discipleship, and discipleship is a life long process. They state that their desire is for the reader to experience “the unending challenge of exalting Christ as Lord of your thinking.” One of the best ways to experience this is to learn together.

The writers make clear that when they refer to academic faithfulness, they are not talking about academic arrogance. Arrogance is the opposite of having a Christian mind. As I read this book, the one on Malik, and the one by David Dockery, though they are often referring to the university’s or college’s failure to teach people how to think conceptually and clearly, I was also reminded that the sole responsibility does not lie with the higher learning institutions. Responsibility must be in the lower levels and particularly in the churches. In testimony after testimony, many college students and particularly later graduates, demonstrate a lack of ability to defend their beliefs. Even though the Bible tells us to be able to give a reason to those who ask us why and what we believe, so many college students are not discipled to do that. This lack of ability plays havoc with their faith.

The authors point out that when Paul in Colossians 2:8 says, “see to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ,” that students are not always equipped for that battle. They cannot always recognize those deceptive philosophies before the damage is done.

The church has to take its disciple making assignment seriously. Christians, young and old, must be taught and helped to develop a Christian perspective, a Christian world and life view, a Christian philosophy of life that will enable them to avoid the pressure to separate or fragment their lives as far as faith and knowledge are concerned. In college, students must be able to ask about any particular discipline in the curriculum: Is there a Christian perspective on this subject? And if so, what is it?

I appreciate the way the authors frequently reminded us throughout the book that knowing also involves doing, a point we try to make regularly. To know something, to really know something, requires and creates transformation, not only of thinking but living as well. I also appreciate their emphasis that knowing is also relational-good perspective on Christian epistemology. They write, “the biblical idea of knowing includes our response to what is learned. To truly know something means not simply understanding it, but acting on that understanding.”

Here is another point they make that bears reading and discussing. “Our relationship with Jesus can’t rest on the emotional high. It must be nurtured the way any relationship is-by spending time together. And this is what the church is all about. Christians gather together to spend time in relationship with Jesus Christ.” (Also read the lead article on the Communion of the Saints in this edition of Equip to Disciple.) They further remind us that this relationship cannot be on hold while we are at places other than the church. Such is true at work, at play, as well as church. If the church is doing its job in making kingdom disciples, then each Christian knows that being a Christian is a 24/7 experience.

Echoing John Stott, they challenge students while developing a Christian mind and healthy relationships to listen to the Word and listen to the world. And the bottom line is that the key to developing academic faithfulness requires all the above. But above all, academic faithfulness requires much prayer. Buy this book! Read it and discuss it! Give a copy to any teachers, preachers, professors, and students.

Men’s Updates by Man in the Mirror, Inc.

by

ACTION POINTS for Committed Dads


Turn off TVs, iPods, cell phones, and computers and gather your family around the dinner table for a good, old-fashioned card game or board game. You don’t need electricity to have energy in the room.

Take note of what your teenager spends his time doing and start a conversation by asking open-ended questions like, “What makes you so good at ____?” or “Why do you like ___ so much?”

“Give action” to your young child; get down on his or her level to play cars, have a tea party, build with blocks, etc. If you have your kids for the weekend, tell them to bring along their favorite game to play. Talk to them about it during the week and build anticipation and excitement for the weekend.

What’s your favorite sport or hobby? Think of ways you can use the language and concepts of that activity to help keep you motivated and on track as a father.

Click here to read entire publication in PDF (Acrobat Reader required)

Pew Research Better Than Reported


A lot of press has been given to a recent Pew Research study showing that 44% of American adults “have left the faith of their childhood.” But that’s not really the whole story. 16% out of that 44% simply left one Protestant denomination for another, meaning only 28% of adults have left the faith of their childhood. Add to that that some of those 28% left atheism or other religions for Christianity, and the picture looks even brighter. So perhaps the best way to say it is, “72% of all American adults have stayed in the faith they were brought up in, including those who changed denominations within the Protestant Church.” Now it sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

The full article is available at http://pewforum.org/

Factoids for Prison Ministries to Men
The U.S. has more people in prison than any other country. Approximately 1% of all adults in U.S. are in jail or prison, 2,319,258 out of almost 230 million American adults, or one out of every 99.1 adults. In one state, the crime rate has increased only about 3% in the past 30 years, while its inmate population has increased by 600%.

ReThinking Worldview: Learning to Think, Live, and Speak in This World

by

Let me state upfront, I like this book. I recommend this book. Get your copy today. If there is one thing Christians need to do and do better, it is to think from a worldview perspective. I will not apologize to anyone who thinks CEP overkills on this subject. A Christian worldview perspective is just too vital a part of kingdom thinking.

I like David Naugle’s comments on this book. (Naugle has also written an outstanding book Worldview: The History of a Concept, which we reviewed in Equip to Disciple.) He wrote, “For those of you suffering from ‘worldview fatigue,’ or who think it’s a theologically unhelpful concept, or who are new to the notion altogether, read this book. It’s like a satisfying draught of ice-cold, refreshing water on a hot summer day! It offers reinvigorating approaches to the priceless Christian worldview concept… Bertrand’s book is a rich gift to serious citizens of the kingdom of God.” And that it is.

There are so many things I like about this book. First, it has three sections: worldview, wisdom, and witness. I like Bertrand’s emphasis on worldview thinking that produces sanctification and witness. Worldview is not something that should isolate us from the rest of the world but should prepare and equip us to confront the world with the truth and demonstrate such truth in our lives. I like his emphasis that there is more to Christianity and making disciples than simply changing a person’s worldview. It is that, but it also requires living a godly life and having an impacting witness. Since worldview deals with interpretation and how we understand reality, we need to be self-conscious about our worldview, always seeking to determine whether it is or is not biblically and theologically sound. Often worldview is simply a given that we do not think much about, but we should. No, we must.

Bertrand sets forth what he calls the four pillars of a Christian worldview: creation, order, rationality, and fear. He says that taken together, these pillars tell us about God, the world, and how we operate within. Creation implies a creator. “If you know who made you, then you know whom you must worship and serve.” He points out “the cold logic of mid-twentieth century atheism has now given way to an era of renewed ‘spirituality,’ but it is an awakening more therapeutic than pious, more attuned to self-expression than self-denial. It is now fashionable to talk about God, though it is still deeply unfashionable to believe in him.”

Here is another example of Bertrand’s depth of insight. Christian epistemology “embraces reason, the senses, intuition, experience, and revelation, predicating each one of them on God’s decision to make us in his image and to reveal himself to us in limited, analogical, but intelligible ways.”

Bertrand reminds us that our knowledge is personal knowledge, and yet it has solid objectivity that keeps us in tune with God’s reality. “The objects of my knowledge have an existence outside of me, and this, I suppose, is where objectivity comes into play. Now, I’ve never experienced pure objectivity. I’m content to acknowledge the subjectivity of my knowledge. What I won’t do, however, is agree that subjectivity is relativity… There is knowledge apart from my experience of knowing.”

I like to point out, as does Bertrand, there is no Christian worldview but there are Christian worldviews. Christians will not see everything exactly the same; however, this provides us a chance to dialogue and think together, “iron sharpening iron.” Even minor disagreements can result in major worldview shifts, says Bertrand. Hence we work together on tweaking or fine tuning our worldview with others involved.

There are 12 chapters providing good material for group study. The book will not only help you fine tune your worldview and how it impacts the transformation of your thinking but it will also provide good teaching on communicating your worldview to those around you. If there is any truth in the idea that the medium is the message, we must work doubly hard to develop our worldview, which will impact the way we think, which in turn will impact knowing what God would have us do. You will appreciate this book.