Men

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]How do you build a strong men’s ministry leadership team?

 

A. The most important principle is to find champions for men’s ministry.

• If they have a passion for men’s ministry, they will be self-motivated. The pastor or session will not have to twist their arms.

• Don’t assign an elder to be the point man for men’s ministry unless that is his passion. If you do, you will kill the passion for men’s ministry on the rest of the team.
• Since the men’s ministry leadership team is overseen by the session, not every member needs to meet the qualification for being a church officer. The key is their passion. If some elders have a passion for men’s ministry-great. They are welcome members of the team.
• The men’s ministry point man must first be a self-starter, highly motivated about men’s ministry in the congregation. He must also be spiritually respected in the congregation.

B. The second most important principle is to equip the team with an awareness of what is required to sustain an effective disciple-making ministry to men over the long haul. Tools for this equipping are mentioned under question 11.

C. The third most important principle is to constantly cast a vision for the importance of men’s ministry to the team along with encouragement and challenges to pay the price. If it were easy to build an effective men’s ministry, you would have already done it! The point is that it is difficult, discouraging, and opposed by the enemy every step of the way. The last thing Satan wants in the church is strong, spiritually connected men! He wants to bind our men in sin, guilt, and isolation. Then he can plunder their house.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

What do men identify as their greatest spiritual needs?

Where Men Want Spiritual Help

1. With their marriages-the number one request on men’s surveys.
2. Battling sexual temptation-the temptation men struggle with most.
3. Getting control of their anger and becoming more patient.
4. Managing their personal/spiritual lives, sticking to the right priorities and spiritual disciplines. Investing their lives not just for success, but for significance.
5. Being the spiritual leader in their homes and knowing how to disciple their kids.
6. Seeing their job as a calling from God and receiving Biblical wisdom for tough, job-related issues.
7. Being more faithful in outreach to the lost. Most men feel like spiritual failures because they are doing little to share their faith.
8. Finding a brother for encouragement and accountability.
9. Knowing how to satisfy their hearts more by delighting in God.

The Root Need:

True discipleship is not behavior modification; it is heart transformation. It is not piling more discipleship tasks on the tired backs of men; it is leading them to the feet of Christ, in whose presence the inner desires and motivations of his heart are changed. The root need of every man is the gospel of grace deeply taking root in his soul.

Many men today are tired of the constant demands upon them to perform. They can’t provide for their family as they want to without working long hours. Instead of their home being the place where they feel appreciated and refreshed-it is full of exhausting demands to perform more.

Today’s Christian man is supposed to suck it up, rub it out, and keep performing. He carries a 100 lb pack on his back called his responsibilities. The daily pressure to perform increases the lure of various kinds of escape. More than one man has found that escape in a return to his drug days, an illicit affair, a growing dependence upon alcohol, a gambling addiction, or in the secret pleasures of viewing Internet porn.

The only true escape from this constant pressure to perform is the gospel of grace. Basking in God’s unconditional love, letting our failures drive us to our savior, is the only way the soul of a man can be refreshed, his strength renewed, and his heart re-energized to follow his calling.

The bigger the demands upon us, the more we need to shun the myth that we are self-reliant and let that pressure drive us to Christ for help. In his presence, we see that some of the pressure comes from our idols of success, respect, pleasure. In his presence we realize that God specializes in impossible situations and our faith is renewed. When we do fail, we remember that the greater our sin-the greater is the love of our savior in forgiving us.

Only the gospel of grace can transform the heart of a man-and that is the ultimate goal of discipleship.

How can I get my men spiritually connected at the level of their walk with Christ so they are not so alone in their spiritual battles?

A. Have a clear picture of your goal: Every man meeting regularly with one or two other brothers for encouragement and accountability in their spiritual battles.

B. Recognize that each of your men can be placed on a continuum of male connection in your church that might look like this:

<< Know No one << Acquaintances >> Friends >> Brothers

1. Acquaintances are those whose name you know
2. Friends are those with whom you participate in some activity. It might be the softball team, board of deacons, or Bible study. Friends socialize and share common values.
3. Closer friends are those you might have over to your home or might have lunch with during the work week.
4. We’re using “brothers” here to refer to men who know what is happening at the level of each other’s soul. They are able to encourage and pray for each other because they know each other’s spiritual battles. As this “brother” relationship deepens, they begin to ask to be held accountable for their actions.

C. Realize that getting men to the point where they are connected as brothers is a process that takes time. Trust must be built before men reveal what is going on inside. Usually this process takes years. It rarely happens automatically. Rather, the men’s ministry must be intentional about helping men move from the no relationships, or superficial relationships (left) to connection with a brother or two at the level of their spiritual lives (right side of continuum).

D. Men find it easiest to build friendships when they are shoulder to shoulder working together to accomplish a common task. Keep this principle in mind especially as you plan events for the least connected men-those on the left side of the continuum.

E. Although working together as a team to accomplish an objective is the most natural way men connect, we must recognize that our natural tendency in that connection is to be superficial. Christian men must be challenged to overcome their natural masculine desire for autonomy, i.e. be intentional about building relationships with other Christian men. We are to be so connected to some brothers that we confess our sins to one another (James 5:16), consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, (Heb. 10:24), and depend daily upon one another (I Cor. 12:21).

F. As you design activities for your men’s ministry, always:

1. Know which group on this continuum of male connection you are targeting
2. Include a component to help men connect at some level.
3. For example:

   a. Follow up the softball season with a funny, well done, awards banquet. Be sure that any newcomers to the team are personally invited by other team members and given a place to sit with them. The banquet could be structured with a contest so that each table has to work together to come up with their answers to the game questions.

   b. Seminars such as Success that Matters or Great Dads have excellent 6 week follow up small group studies. These studies are safe because they review material heard at the seminar and because they are only six weeks long. Such groups give men a taste of connection and they may decide to keep meeting after the 6 weeks is over.

G. One of the best ways to get men connected at the level of their soul is a men’s Bible Study or large-group presentation, with table discussion afterward.

1. Man In the Mirror has many excellent resources for men’s Bible study, including DVD series of Pat speaking and follow up discussion questions. Click here to visit their website.
2. You can check out our bookstore for men’s Bible studies by clicking here.
3. However, we must recognize the limitations of men’s Bible studies –Monthly studies can do very little to help men connect at the level of their everyday lives because they meet too infrequently –Weekly men’s studies rarely reach more than 15% of the men in the congregation and often fizzle out. Couples’ home groups compete with such men’s groups. Also, men do not like coming home from work and going back out to a weekly study. –Often men’s small groups that do exist are more about sharing opinions than about fighting spiritual battles. They are 80% study with prayer requests tacked onto the end.

H. Consider using another structure for helping men connect as brothers-Check 6 Partnerships. (Note: “I’ll check your six” is military language for, “I’ve got your back.”)

1. Check 6 Partnerships are:

–Not a couples’ group, but a band of brothers

–Not a 2 hour Bible study, but a 1 hour breakfast,lunch, or phone call

–Not an evening away from your family, but an hour fromyour work day

–Not 6-8 guys, but 2-4 guys

–Not focused on learning, but focused on fighting

–Not based on a meeting agenda that generates opinions, but a meeting agenda that generates connection as brothers

2. There is great Biblical precedent for such relationships:

–Jesus and the inner three

–Elijah and Elisha

–David and Jonathan

–Paul and Timothy

–Peter and Mark

3. For more information on Check 6 Partnerships go to www.forgingbonds.org

How can I be better equipped for men’s ministry?

A. Sign Up for Get In the Game–the PCA E-letter on Men’s Ministry

B. Take the 15 minute Man in the Mirror On-line training course (click here http://www.maninthemirror.org/.

C. Read and study No Man Left Behind. (order from PCA Bookstore)

D. Take your men’s ministry leadership team to a “No Man Left Behind” training seminar (click here— http://www.maninthemirror.org/click on training center

E. Click here if you would like a 30 minute phone call from a men’s ministry coach gyagel@forgingbonds.org

Life Changing Men’s Events
By Gary Yagel

On a warm November evening in 1966, at a camp called Hilltop, I faced the most important decision of my life. I had just been challenged to fully devote my life to Jesus Christ. Along with the other kids on this Young Life weekend, I was outside, observing the 20 minutes of silence following the Saturday night talk. Alone with God, I confessed my sins and surrendered my life to him.

That night I did what I’m sure my pastor, Sunday School teacher, and Young Life leader had talked to me every week about doing. But it was not until I got away on a retreat that I came face to face with the need to make a decision about following Christ, wholeheartedly. In Young Life circles, summer and weekend camps are notorious for the way God’s Spirit uses them to lead teens to surrender to Christ.

What does this have to do with men’s ministry? A lot. A weekend retreat or a Saturday morning seminar is a powerful tool in the hands of the Holy Spirit to grow men to new levels of surrender and commitment to Christ. Consider these benefits of such an event for men:

1. The Biblical content they can receive. Getting men together by themselves enables teaching in two areas that are specific to men-their unique responsibilities as husbands, fathers, and spiritual leaders, and their unique temptations due to their hard-wiring as men. It is true that men could get the same content by reading a book or listening to an MP3, but 98% won’t. They are far more likely to come to a seminar or retreat that addresses their issues as men than to pick up a book and actually read it.

2. Deeper connection with the other men. 94% of Christian men have no best friend. They are fighting their spiritual battles alone. A carefully planned seminar or retreat will encourage the kind of discussion that enables men to realize that they are not alone in their struggles. Very often it is right after experiencing this closeness at a retreat or seminar that a man will decide to get into a weekly men’s study or begin meeting weekly for breakfast with a few close brothers for encouragement and accountability.

3. Renewed Passion for Christ. Today’s men are overworked and exhausted. They are so busy meeting their responsibilities on the job, in their homes, and in their churches, that their emotional tank is often near empty. A great seminar or retreat pours the energy of renewal into men’s souls. Time away from the routine allows a man to recover his spiritual perspective, think about things he has pushed to the back of his mind, and find rest. Often it is not necessarily a great insight that benefits him most from a Saturday morning seminar. It is the renewal of his passion.

There is a caveat about retreats though; they need to be done well. Young Life promises teens the greatest week or weekend of their lives, and they do all they can to make that promise come true. Our men’s events don’t have to quite that well done-but they need to be well planned, and very male-friendly. The speakers need to have something valuable to say about the issues men care most about. These issues are explained in the FAQ part of our PCA men’s ministry website click here.

To help you find men’s seminar and retreat speakers within the PCA we are compiling a speaker list, which will be posted on our website. We have listed those we know about later in this issue of GITG. Please email us with information about PCA men’s speakers and websites you know about gyagel@forgingbonds.org

Article originally part of “Get in the Game”
a periodic email communication from CEP
October / November 2008 Vol. 4 No.4

What’s Happening Around the PCA? God is Moving In Men’s Ministry!

Samson and the Pirate Monks, By Nate Larkin. Because of his own story of addiction and loss, Nate Larkin knows every man’s heart combines sinner and saint, pirate and monk. His book is about a real group of men who aren’t afraid to say so-real men whose honest admission of weakness has been the doorway to authentic calling.

They call themselves the Samson Society. They started in Christ Community Church, Franklin TN, and their society is spreading to other PCA churches. Go to www.samsonsociety.org. to find out more.

Scotty Smith, the founding pastor of Christ Community writes, “Long before he sat down to commit his thoughts on the page, I watched Nate write about Samson and the Pirate Monks with his brokenness, his tears, and his thirst for the mercy and grace of God. And now, I have the joy of seeing the fruit of his journey and labor of love when I look into the eyes of men in our church who are part of the Samson Society-men who are discovering the wonder of the gospel, the necessity of brotherhood, and the hope of change.” Scotty Smith, Founding Pastor of Christ Community Church, Franklin, TN