Men

Grace On Tap

“For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth camethrough Jesus Christ” John 1:17

During the Great Awakening Jonathan Edwards was leading a massive prayer meeting of over eight hundred men when he received a message from a wife requesting that the men pray for her husband, whose “spiritual pride had led him to be unloving, prideful, and difficult.” Thinking that perhaps the husband was in attendance at the prayer meeting, Edwards read the prayer request to the eight hundred men, then asked if the man who had been described would raise his hand so that the rest of the men could pray for him. Three hundred men raised their hands.

A foundational principle in men’s ministry is recognizing that even though our men know Christ died for their sins, many, perhaps most, still feel too dirty and sinful to be loved by a holy God. No matter how good our programs are, how rich our Biblical insights may be, or how successful we are at helping men better connect, our men’s ministry will fall flat if our men’s guilt and failure make them doubt God’s love for them. Like Adam and Eve, their shame will drive them away from God unless their Christian life is built on the foundation of grace.

During a British conference on comparative religions, experts from around the world debated what belief, if any, was unique to the Christian faith. They discussed the fact that other religions had some form of incarnation, and accounts of someone returning from the dead. The debate continued until C. S. Lewis wandered into the room. Lewis asked what the rumpus was about, and heard that his colleagues were discussing Christianity’s uniqueness among world religions. Lewis responded, “Oh, that’s easy. It’s grace.”

Every other religion teaches that we must earn God’s favor. In fact, just about every part of the world where our men live is about rewards they receive based upon their efforts. They pass their classes in school, find a good job, get promotions, and even win the heart of their wife through their effort. They know well the axiom, “there are no free lunches.”

The problem is that if they bring this “I have to earn God’s favor” attitude into their walk with God, it will destroy their potential for spiritual growth. They will focus on fixing their behavior, which will only lead to frustration, further guilt, and even anger with the God who demands perfection. Nothing poisons spiritual growth more than the inner belief that I have to be good so that God will love me.

The only way true spiritual growth takes place is for me to know that God loves me unconditionally despite my sin. Then my heart is free to respond to God’s love with my love. I become motivated to follow his commandments not to earn his love but out of gratefulness for the love I already have! A long term disciple-making ministry for men must reach their hearts. That is why we must create an atmosphere in our men’s ministry where men are taking constant gulps of grace.

Article originally part of “Get in the Game”
a periodic email communication from CEP
October / November 2008 Vol. 4 No.4

ACTION POINTS for Committed Dads

Turn off TVs, iPods, cell phones, and computers and gather your family around the dinner table for a good, old-fashioned card game or board game. You don’t need electricity to have energy in the room.

Take note of what your teenager spends his time doing and start a conversation by asking open-ended questions like, “What makes you so good at ____?” or “Why do you like ___ so much?”

“Give action” to your young child; get down on his or her level to play cars, have a tea party, build with blocks, etc. If you have your kids for the weekend, tell them to bring along their favorite game to play. Talk to them about it during the week and build anticipation and excitement for the weekend.

What’s your favorite sport or hobby? Think of ways you can use the language and concepts of that activity to help keep you motivated and on track as a father.

Click here to read entire publication in PDF (Acrobat Reader required)

Pew Research Better Than Reported

A lot of press has been given to a recent Pew Research study showing that 44% of American adults “have left the faith of their childhood.” But that’s not really the whole story. 16% out of that 44% simply left one Protestant denomination for another, meaning only 28% of adults have left the faith of their childhood. Add to that that some of those 28% left atheism or other religions for Christianity, and the picture looks even brighter. So perhaps the best way to say it is, “72% of all American adults have stayed in the faith they were brought up in, including those who changed denominations within the Protestant Church.” Now it sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

The full article is available at http://pewforum.org/

Factoids for Prison Ministries to Men
The U.S. has more people in prison than any other country. Approximately 1% of all adults in U.S. are in jail or prison, 2,319,258 out of almost 230 million American adults, or one out of every 99.1 adults. In one state, the crime rate has increased only about 3% in the past 30 years, while its inmate population has increased by 600%.

Antarctic Explorer, Ernest Shackleton, posted this advertisement in 1913: “Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages. Bitter cold. Long months of complete darkness. Constant danger. Safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success.” More than five thousand men applied for twenty-six slots. Shakleton understood what motivates men!

Men want to invest their lives in a great cause. They are drawn to a mission that is worthy of their highest devotion-and draws from them the willingness to make whatever sacrifice is required, (witness the fine young men laying down their lives in Iraq.)

If the message our men hear from the church is that the essence of their calling as Christ-followers is to be nice guys-kind, avoiding porn, finding a wife, getting a job, coming to church-their commitment to Christ will be half-hearted at best. This is especially true of our young men.

We must constantly strive to help men see that there is no greater mission than to be a part of God’s grand redemption of the cosmos, fighting Satan and his minions, being the first-fruits of the new creation, putting the values of the kingdom on display in our own lives, and invading every square inch of planet earth with the gospel of the kingdom of Christ! That is why I want again to draw your attention to the book, Making Kingdom Disciples. Here are a few more excerpts:

“If we have a right concept of the kingdom of God, a biblical world-and-life-view will be the natural outcome. A.A Milne, famous for his Winnie the Pooh stories, wrote a novel entitled “Two People” which focuses on Mr. Pump. Mr Pump was a haberdasher and a very devoutly religious man. He was so religious in fact that he would not dare carry his religion into the marketplace because it was too sacred. To illustrate this, he had two hats, one for his marketplace role and another for his Sunday morning churchgoing role. Mr. Pump was right to see a distinction between the church and the marketplace, but he was wrong to create a sacred/secular division by suggesting that the two do not mix.

This story serves to help us understand that in this life we do have somewhat of a dual role. On the one hand it does appear that Christians wear two hats, but on the other hand, and more correctly, we wear only one hat. We are to be “in the world, but not of the world.” We are members of both God’s kingdom and his church. We may say that we wear two hats because there is a difference between the two; however, on the other hand we clearly wear only one hat because Christ is Lord over all.

There are many well-meaning churchgoers who think like Mr. Pump. They think they are to serve the Lord on Sunday, but one has to be a professional clergyman or staff member to serve the Lord during the week in some church-related ministry. Selling clothes, keeping house, and teaching school, are not religious or sacred activities, but secular occupations that have no religious connotation.

Understanding the all-inclusiveness of the kingdom will remind us that everything we do is a religious activity and is to be done to the glory of God.

Article originally part of “Get in the Game”
a periodic email communication from CEP
March/April 2008 Vol. 4 No.2

What is Happening in The PCA

Interview with Charles Dunahoo: Making Kingdom Disciples of Men

Article originally part of “Get in the Game”
a periodic email communication from CEP

January/February 2008 Vol. 4 No.1

Introductory Comments by Gary Yagel. Men are made for mission. That mission, in Genesis 1:27-28, was to exercise dominion over the earth for its true King. Now, redeemed men are restored to the same mission, but must accomplish it in a fallen world. We are to seek first the kingdom of God, expanding the rule of Christ into every sphere of our lives, culture, and world. If men’s ministry is to be effective, we must challenge men with a vision big enough to resonate with their internal drive to accomplish a great mission. That vision is to live out the values of God’s kingdom-to make the invisible kingdom of God visible, everywhere we go, in every sphere of our lives, over every square inch of planet earth.

Charles Dunahoo has challenged the church to recover a proper view of discipleship, i.e. discipleship centered in an understanding of the Kingdom of God and our role in that kingdom.

GITG: Charles, you believe the calling of the church is to make kingdom disciples. What do you mean by that?

Charles: To be a kingdom disciple means to consciously think like a Christian and live with a holistic world and life view, which is oriented to the kingdom of God, seven days a week. It involves more than Bible study and prayer; it is doing all things to the glory of God.

GITG: What key elements of kingdom theology has the church failed to grasp?

Charles: The relationship between the church and the kingdom– we have confused the church’s role in general and this impacts individuals about their role in the church and kingdom. For example, in my view, the church errs, when it directly speaks, as an institution, on political issues or establishes its own institutionalized mercy ministries. The church’s main focus should be making kingdom disciples and doing so in a way that equips them or kingdom living in all of life.

GITG: But doesn’t the church today need to call its members into a greater commitment to mercy ministry?

Charles: Absolutely. in fact that is the other side of the failure. We are failing to call our members to be kingdom disciples who are committed as individuals to living as kingdom members, which includes engaging in mercy ministry. The church must make disciples who are holistic in their thinking about seeking first the kingdom. Mercy ministry belongs with gospel ministry. The church should call Christ-followers to use their gifts to set up orphanages, build hospitals, begin crisis pregnancy centers or to address human needs issues. The church should not directly build or administer such institutions but rather serve as the catalyst encouraging Christians to do those things.

GITG: Get In the Game is about men’s ministry. How would seeing himself as a kingdom disciple change the way a man goes about his everyday life?

Charles: He sees his relationship to Christ in a holistic way. He is committed to serving the Lord in whatever he does. He is committed to doing all he does for the glory of God. In my book I mention the story of Mr. Pump, the haberdasher in A. A. Milne’s novel, Two People. Mr. Pump has one top hat for church on Sunday, and another hat to wear the rest of the week. He never confuses the two, because in his mind his spiritual life and secular life are completely separate. But a kingdom disciple understands that we don’t have two hats. His motivation for leading his business is the glory of God and he operates his business in a way that is consistent with kingdom values set forth in God’s Word.

GITG: How does a man seeing himself as a kingdom disciple engage that man’s heart?

Charles: He learns to love the things Christ loves. For example, Christ loves his bride, the church. One of my problems with the emerging church is its tendency to de-emphasize the church. Kingdom disciples are committed to the church, because it is the bride Christ loves. The King also has a heart for widows and orphans. This requires that we too have heart for them, as we follow his example.

GITG: How can the church do a better job of producing kingdom disciples?

Charles: In the discipleship process we need to think like Christians in order to see the big view.. We need to be intentional about teaching our members how to think Biblically about issues, helping them learn how to connect the dots. Men like to see the big picture. They like to know the reason why they should do something. We must equip our people to take every thought captive to Christ and apply them to our daily lives.

GITG: What else would you say to church leaders in men’s ministry about making kingdom disciples?

Charles: We must be gospel centered in all that we do, but we must remember that the gospel is the good news of the coming kingdom. Mark tells us, “Jesus went into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, ‘The time has come,’ he said, ‘The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the gospel'” (Mark 1:14-15). There is a lot of emphasis today on spiritual formation, but as important as that is, we tend to have a man-centered approach in that it is about me and my spiritual life and development. In reality it is about God and his will. The kingdom perspective is God-centered. Men want significance and they respond to challenges. The kingdom perspective challenges everyone from lawyers to grocery store owners to teachers and mechanics to view their vocations as service for the king.

Ministry That Appeals to Men

Pop Quiz: Examine these two sets of values. Which one better characterizes Jesus Christ and his true followers?

Left Set	Right Set
Competence	Love
Power	Communication
Efficiency	Beauty
Achievement	Relationships
Skills	Support
Proving oneself	Help
Results	Nurture
Accomplishment	Feelings
Objects	Sharing
Technology	Relating
Goal oriented	Harmony
Self-sufficiency	Community
Success	Loving cooperation
Competition	Personal Expression

David Murrow, author of the book, Why Men Hate Going To Church, has shown this chart to hundreds of people, men and women, Christians and non-Christians. More than 95% of the time respondents chose the Right Set as the better representation of true Christian values. Murrow then tells his readers that he took the two sets of values from the book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. The Left Set are the values of Mars. The Right Set are the values of Venus. What is clear from this exercise is that when most people think of Christ and his followers, they think of feminine values.

Few of us would agree with everything Murrow says, but his point deserves profound thought. Which set of values most reflects what our churches are teaching about the Christian faith? Does Scripture actually teach that the right side values are more godly than the left side? If the church exalts the right side over the left, what message is it sending to boys and men about their masculinity?

This is a serious issue. Is it possible that today’s church has developed a culture that drives men away by asking them to check their masculinity at the door? This is Murrow’s thesis and it is well worth thinking about. Order Why Men Hate Going to Church.

Called to Sexual Integrity
“Lust Reigns Where Repentance Is Incomplete”

Article originally appeared in “Get in the Game”
a periodic email communication from CEP

October/November 2007 Vol. 3 No.5

Recently a friend’s eight year old son confided in him about his time management problems. “Dad, with all my video games to play and friends I want to play outside with, I just don’t have time for school.” School just didn’t seem to fit into his schedule.

Sometimes Christian men who are losing their battles with lust are looking for a quick and easy solution that will fit comfortably into their schedule. “Give me three steps for winning this battle for sexual purity and I will take them next Thursday afternoon at 3:00 and get this problem solved.” In a world where Yankee ingenuity allows us to read license plates from outer space and put 500 songs on something the size of a credit card, we expect to quickly solve our problems. But instant solutions to spiritual problems simply don’t exist.

Heart transformation can only take place through our union with Christ-and it is a life long cycle that requires repentance, faith, and obedience. Often this process is subverted because of incomplete repentance, so we are looking carefully at this Biblical concept through the lens of 1) mental assent-agreeing with God’s verdict, 2) our core affections-satisfying our hearts in God and hating evil, and 3) our actions-surrendering our will to Christ.

Surrendering our will to Christ is an integral part of repentance, yet surrendering to the will of Christ is what we feel so powerless to do, when lust is awakened. There is, however, no way to avoid the agonizing pull of temptation and no way to escape the battle over saying, “Not my will but yours be done.”

This battle to yield to Christ is easier to win, though, when we remember these truths:”

1. This pull of temptation is a chance to demonstrate our loyalty to our redeemer and king. “You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” 1Corinth. 6:19-20.

2. It is in remembering God’s mercy to us that we find power to surrender our bodies to God as a living sacrifice. “Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices-holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship.” Rom. 12:1. It is God’s grace to us that motivates obedience.

3. Surrendering to Christ’s Lordship does not mean trying to deny the pull of sexual desire; it is entrusting your sexual appetite to God. It is trusting God to satisfy your sexual longings in a righteous way-and it is “those who hunger and thirst for righteousness” who “will be satisfied, not those who seek satisfaction in an unrighteous way.

4. We need to have the dignity to refuse to let sexual desire rule us. Slavery destroys human dignity. We need the dignity and sound theology to say, I wasn’t meant for slavery. I was created a king, made in God’s image to rule-not to be dominated, enslaved by some force like sexual sin. Christ, the second Adam, has set us free from our bondage to sin. We need to have the passion of freedom fighters to never again let ourselves be enslaved. “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.” Rom. 6:12

Heart transformation begins with full repentance, which is involves the mind – agreeing with God’s verdict, the emotions-realizing that our root issue is not loving our God enough, and the will – changing directions and surrendering to Christ’s Lordship. There are no easy shortcuts to sexual purity, but there can be a gradual heart transformation that makes us more inclined to surrender to his will. Click here to order The Called to Sexual Integrity Bible Studies