CDM Archive

Discipleship Ministries of the PCA

Men

Practical Assistance for PCA Men’s Ministry Leadership Teams

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A man is hard to disciple. Men are busy, tired, over-committed, and struggling with sins they don’t want to talk about. Unlike women, singles, teenagers, and children, they will not show up at church just because they like to be together. Any event for men has to have high value to them. Otherwise, they will not come to it on any kind of regular basis.

No wonder so many pastors and leaders get discouraged with men’s ministry. The ministry is so difficult that mistakes can set men’s ministry in the local church back for years.

That is the reason that we need to gain the counsel of many other men who are doing men’s ministry, because “in the abundance of many counselors, there is victory,” (Proverbs 11:14). This wisdom that results from many counselors is the purpose of “Get In The Game.” This bi-monthly enewsletter provides insight about men’s ministry from the most effective men’s ministries in the country. It supplies updates on resources that are available and enables you to stay abreast of what is happening in men’s ministry in the PCA. It is a great tool to encourage and equip the men on your men’s ministry leadership team, so make sure you go to www.pcacep.org/men to sign up for your entire team.

Building a Sustainable Men’s Ministry: No Man Left Behind

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What Men Want and Need
Excerpts from No Man Left Behind

WHAT MEN WANT

IN OUR EXPERIENCE with men and men’s leaders, we have found three things that every man wants: something to give their lives to, someone to share it with, and a personal system that offers a reasonable explanation for why the first two are so difficult!

All men want something to give their lives to: a mission, a cause, or a purpose. Every man wants to get to the end of his life and feel like it counted for something. In addition to something to give their lives to, men want someone to share their lives with. Typically it includes marriage, but it goes beyond marriage, as well.

All of us are looking for meaning, happiness, peace, tranquility, contentment. By default, a man will look for satisfaction primarily in his accomplishments (something to give his life to) and in other people (someone to share it with.)

But most men will also tell you they are frustrated with the difficulty of finding success in accomplishment and relationships. Most of the “systems” that men buy into seem to answer one problem or the other: Work as hard as you can to build a successful career, stay late, take on big projects, travel on a moment’s notice. But a system designed to maximize your career will undermine your ability to have meaningful relationships in your life. You might build a prosperous lifestyle, but you will have no one to enjoy it with.

WHAT MEN NEED

The obvious answer to the question, “What do men need?” is that they need the gospel. The gospel is the one system that really works-a system that helps men change the core affections of their hearts.

This process of helping men move from relying on themselves or others to relying on God is discipleship. It is a process of deepening a man’s relationship with God.

Called to Sexual Integrity: Part 1

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Called to Sexual Integrity

Because God has hardwired men to respond to visual stimulation, today, the men in our congregations must battle for sexual purity in an unprecedented era of sexual temptation. Never before has pornography been so easy to view. Never before has the content of simple TV commercials and “family hour” TV shows flooded our family rooms with provocative images and ideas that start our sexual engine running. We are bombarded daily with such unwanted stimuli. For this reason, during 2007, we will have a regular column in GITG, which highlights key Biblical principles for making progress in this battle.

Article originally appeared in “Get in the Game”
a periodic email communication from CEP
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January/February 2007 Vol. 3 No.1

TRACING SEXUAL SIN TO ITS ROOT

It is sometimes thought that Jesus was adding something new to the prohibitions of the Law when he commanded us not to lust after another man’s wife. But, in fact, this prohibition is in the Decalogue, itself. The tenth commandment prohibits coveting our neighbor’s wife and the Hebrew word for covet is also translated lust after. The same is true in the New Testament. EPITHUMEO, which means literally, over-desire, is translated both as lusting and coveting. So, lusting after another man’s wife has always been prohibited by God’s moral law.

Lust is a matter of the desires of the heart, and we must begin the battle for sexual purity here-at the level of our desires. The root sin of lust is idolatry. It is looking to sexual sin to satisfy the desires in our hearts. RTS professor Steve Childers makes this clear.

To Paul, mankind’s root problem is not merely an external. behavioral problem-it is an internal problem of the heart. Paul believed that one of the primary reasons human hearts are not more transformed is because the affections of people’s hearts have been captured by idols that grip them and steal their hearts’ affection away from God. Spiritual Dynamics Class Notes

The root sin is that we have chosen to go outside the boundaries of the kingdom of God to look for pleasure in the land of idols. Illicit sexual pleasure feels good, relieves boredom, medicates pain, soothes our stress. Such payoffs can be nearly impossible to resist.

The most effective way to combat sexual sin over the long haul is to chip away at its roots. So, how do we chip away at our tendency to look to the idol of illicit sexual pleasure to satisfy our longings? We must look to the true God to satisfy those longings instead.

There are two ways we need to look to God to satisfy our longings instead of to the false God of illicit sexual pleasure. First, we must surrender our sexual desires to him and trust him to be the one to see that they are satisfied in a righteous way or give us the grace to go with them unmet. Second, we must learn to delight our heart in the Lord, himself, because he alone can satisfy our deepest longings.

No matter what your situation, when sexual desire is aroused, take it to the altar and ask God to provide for those desires to be satisfied. If you are single, pray for a wife, and seek wise counsel concerning the lessons you need to learn before marriage. When you feel sexual desire being awakened, channel that desire into a fervent prayer for your future wife. If you are married, Scripture is clear that passionate love-making with your wife is a key to overcoming temptation. (See Prov. 5:15-20, I Cor. 7:5) If there is a sexual misconnect with your wife (which is very common among Christian husbands and wives,) take this concern to the Lord, as well. He wants you to have a passionate love life. Surrendering your sexual appetite to God and trusting him to meet your desires is the quality of meekness. As the third beatitude, this is a foundational quality for the Christian life.

When Paul was addressing the sexual immorality of the Corinthians, he cut to the root of the matter in 6:13, when he tells them, “You were made for God and God is the answer to your deepest longings.” John Piper gets it right, when he says,

One reason lust reigns in so many is that Christ has so little appeal. You were created to treasure Christ with all your heart-more than you treasure sex or sugar. If you have little taste for Jesus, competing pleasures will triumph. Plead with God for the satisfaction you don’t have. Quote Psalm 14, “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love that we might rejoice and be glad all our days.” Then, look, look, LOOK at the most magnificent person in the universe until you see him the way he is.

There is no instant solution to overcoming sexual lust. Our sexuality is very deeply rooted, and equally deeply rooted is our sinful nature. We believe in radical depravity. Sinful habit patterns that took years to build are not easily rooted out. But, in the long run, the most effective way to strengthen the purity of your heart is to steadily chip away at its idols. In this case, that means trusting your sexual desires to your master, and being intentional about delighting your soul in him.

Why Men Hate Going to Church

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David Murrow is a layman who has served as an elder in the PCUSA. He is the director of an organization called Church For Men. He lives with his family in Anchorage, AK. As he noticed what he called a “gender gap” in churches he was perplexed as to the reasons for this situation. He began to research and found very little written on the subject. In his research he found men want to know God, but they want nothing to do with the church. He says that for years we have been calling men back to church, but now we need to call the church back to men.

Some of the reasons he found for the lack of presence of men in the church is the way the church has structured itself along feminine lines. Men’s religion is masculinity and when they come to church they don’t feel comfortable with the sensitivity and emphasis placed on relational activities. He finds that there is not enough challenge, risk taking, and vision in the church for men. He notes that the church is male led, but dominated by women. He has an interesting profile of men who are seminary trained and called to pastor churches.

He emphasizes the importance of the church, but leaders need to change the thermostat in the church more to challenge rather than promote comfort, conformity, and ceremony. If the church is to survive he says, we need more men, and they need to be made to see the importance of their mission. Murrow writes, “Men have no idea how vital Christ is to the future of mankind. Nor do they realize how needed they are. Without men and their warrior spirit in the church, all is lost. Our job is to lift the veil of religion and call men to the battle.”

He has a section on three gaps, identified as the gap of presence, the gap of participation, and the gap of personality. These are good reviews about men and women and the roles they play in the church.

He also has a number of chapters where he deals with the way men view the church. Some readers will not agree with all the descriptions or possible solutions he makes for change, but it is good to know what perceptions men have about the church and how the church needs to address these perceptions. Murrow makes a point of how mainline churches have adopted “inclusive language,” stripping masculine pronouns from hymns, liturgy, and even Scripture, in order to make women feel more comfortable in church. He also shows how denominations that have opened their doors widest to female leadership are generally declining in membership. He warns how this can be an obstacle in ministering to men.

He concludes the book with the importance for every man to have a spiritual father, and to become a spiritual father to another. Second, he underscores that every man needs a band of brothers. Why is it important? Murrow writes, “Jack received Christ during an invitation at his local church. Two months later, he no longer went to church, had lost all contact with believers, and was not living any discernible Christian life.” More than half of Christian conversions end this way. (Barna)

What if a spiritual father had taken responsibility for Jack? What if he’d been scooped up by a little platoon of men and discipled? With a band of brothers spurring him on, do you think Jack would abandon the faith just eight weeks later? That’s the strength of a little platoon-no man gets left behind. (226)

This is a good book for pastors and elders to read, and use in training men involved in leading men’s ministry in the local church. Murrow says this is not just a book for men, but for women also and I would agree.

Filed Under: Men

What About Men’s Ministry in the PCA?

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charles.jpgWhat about men’s ministry in the PCA? We have been asked that question many times. Before responding, a bit of history would be in order. When the PCA formed in December of 1973, the organizing committee was aware of the background from which our original churches were coming. The committee also understood the challenge to develop a new denomination, originally called “the continuing Presbyterian Church,” that would impact the culture and world, by standing for the truth with a renewed commitment.

In the mainline church (PCUS) from which the PCA developed, there had been structures and programs that had proven effective and two of those were its women’s ministry and its men’s ministry. Desiring to develop programs and ministries that would encourage spiritual growth and ministry to those in and out of the church, the PCA approved a women’s ministry, known as Women in the Church (WIC) and Men of the Covenant (MOC). They positioned them under the oversight and direction of the committee for Christian Education and Publications.

One of the biblical models for making kingdom disciples is found in the book of Titus. After addressing the problems in the communities (and by implication, the homes) resulting from bad teaching, Paul instructed pastors to teach what is in accord with sound doctrine, (Titus 2:1). He then said he was to teach in such a manner that older men could minister to younger men and older women to younger women. A men’s ministry can, as we have seen with our WIC ministry’s focus on “spiritual mothering,” have a powerful impact in the church. Women need to minister to women, and men need to minister to one another. Men who serve as elders and deacons have unique opportunities to minister to one another. The possibilities of dads, granddads, and other older men ministering to younger men make this ministry both challenging and exciting.

From the very outset the PCA’s women’s ministry took root and began to develop a ministry that would give them a sense of connection with women from other churches in the PCA. Testimonials continue to come from women who have appreciated and benefited from that connection. There have been three major denominational WIC conferences and six major regional conferences over the years. The next conference is planned for 2006. In 1999, more than 4,000 PCA women gathered in Atlanta for a conference focusing on mercy ministry. This provided the push for the present mercy ministry conference jointly sponsored by CEP, its WIC program and Mission to North America.

What about the men? In the beginning CEP attempted to start a parallel ministry, originally called Men of the Covenant, at the assembly level to assist presbyteries and local churches with men’s ministries. Such attempts have yet to take shape though numbers of efforts have been attempted over the years. We continue to be asked, especially by some of the participants in the WIC ministry, when are you going to have similar ministry for the PCA men? We have replied that we have made numerous attempts but without success. Many local churches have some very outstanding men’s ministries in the PCA. Our desire, more than having a top down structure, is to encourage men to see the need and come forward as husbands, fathers, and Christian men in general with the commitment to seek to live as kingdom disciples.

We have also been asked why the PCA encourages special ministries such as women, youth, children, and men through CEP. Our response has uniformly been that we do encourage local churches, through their formal and informal leadership, to develop a holistic plan of ministry for their churches. This allows local sessions that are responsible for the local church’s ministry, to oversee and coordinate the entire ministry, and to evaluate its progress.

In addition to the approach above, we have also seen the value of including specialized ministries to women, men, youth, and children. None of these are to replace the whole, however. As far as children and youth, the church must not take over parental responsibility, though promises are made at baptism to assist parents in training their children.

Having said that, the articles by Pat Morley (PCA) and TE Peter Alwinson, a PCA teaching elder, launch a new effort on the part of CEP. We will be working more closely with Morley, the author and originator of the Man in the Mirror ministry. Together we will offer churches help in developing a men’s ministry. Encouraging, mobilizing and training men for ministry are vital initiatives. As a former pastor, the churches I served were able to do some significant ministries through both the women and men’s ministries. I have seen first hand the value of such ministry.

In case you’re asked, CEP is still very much committed to encouraging a men’s ministry that is strategically focused in the local church. We would like to encourage churches with this ministry and even provide training and resources to assist. We are asked, “Will CEP ever sponsor a denominational men’s conference similar to its WIC conferences?” At this point only the Lord knows that, but would not it be a wonderful thing to see PCA men from across the church come together for such an event?

The Six Habits of Spiritually Happy Men

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By Patrick Morley


I’ve been meeting with men to talk about where they are on their spiritual pilgrimage for over three decades. Many of those men exude a contagious joy and contentment. Their lives are peaceable, orderly, and recommend Christ. They’re downright happy!

Most of these happy men exercise six spiritual habits that keep them “abiding in Christ.” The dictionary says a habit is, “an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.”

These six habits are no litmus test that you can use to judge a man’s walk with Christ. That would be extremely dangerous. These habits create no special merit with Christ. They do nothing to improve a man’s record with Jesus. They are, however, indicators or “clues” of a deeper commitment to live by faith and make a difference in the world.

The six habits of spiritually happy men are:

  1. They read the Bible regularly. They love God’s word, and want to regularly read and meditate on the Bible.
  2. They pray with their wives. This symbolizes a depth of relationship with God and his wife.
  3. They tithe. I’ve never known a man who tithed who was not happy.
  4. They are in a small group. They are personally vulnerable and seek to be held accountable by other men. This group might be with a few men, or only one other man. It might meet for Bible study, discussion, fellowship, prayer, or a combination.
  5. They are active in a church. Active involvement is the overflow of a deeper work that Christ is doing in a man’s heart.
  6. They are serving the Lord. They have a passion that their lives will make a difference in the world. They pursue a life of significance. They view everything as serving the Lord.

I certainly don’t mean to imply that these are the only six habits that reveal the depth of a man’s walk with Christ. Nevertheless, those of us who are leaders would do well to practice and encourage our men to practice these six habits. The change of heart that underlies the visible habits can change the course of a man’s life and family lineage for generations to come.

Together in the Battle for Men’s Souls!

Patrick Morley is the founder, chairman and CEO of Man in the Mirror, a ministry dedicated to equipping leaders in the local church to disciple men. He has a led the Man in the Mirror Bible Study outside of Orlando since 1986. You can get more info and view these Bible studies at www.maninthemirror.org/biblestudy/series.htm