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What do men identify as their greatest spiritual needs?

November 23, 2008 by Gary

What do men identify as their greatest spiritual needs?

Where Men Want Spiritual Help

  1. With their marriages-the number one request on men’s surveys.
  2. Battling sexual temptation-the temptation men struggle with most.
  3. Getting control of their anger and becoming more patient.
  4. Managing their personal/spiritual lives, sticking to the right priorities and spiritual disciplines. Investing their lives not just for success, but for significance.
  5. Being the spiritual leader in their homes and knowing how to disciple their kids.
  6. Seeing their job as a calling from God and receiving Biblical wisdom for tough, job-related issues.
  7. Being more faithful in outreach to the lost. Most men feel like spiritual failures because they are doing little to share their faith.
  8. Finding a brother for encouragement and accountability.
  9. Knowing how to satisfy their hearts more by delighting in God.

The Root Need:

True discipleship is not behavior modification; it is heart transformation. It is not piling more discipleship tasks on the tired backs of men; it is leading them to the feet of Christ, in whose presence the inner desires and motivations of his heart are changed. The root need of every man is the gospel of grace deeply taking root in his soul.

Many men today are tired of the constant demands upon them to perform. They can’t provide for their family as they want to without working long hours. Instead of their home being the place where they feel appreciated and refreshed-it is full of exhausting demands to perform more.

Today’s Christian man is supposed to suck it up, rub it out, and keep performing. He carries a 100 lb pack on his back called his responsibilities. The daily pressure to perform increases the lure of various kinds of escape. More than one man has found that escape in a return to his drug days, an illicit affair, a growing dependence upon alcohol, a gambling addiction, or in the secret pleasures of viewing Internet porn.

The only true escape from this constant pressure to perform is the gospel of grace. Basking in God’s unconditional love, letting our failures drive us to our savior, is the only way the soul of a man can be refreshed, his strength renewed, and his heart re-energized to follow his calling.

The bigger the demands upon us, the more we need to shun the myth that we are self-reliant and let that pressure drive us to Christ for help. In his presence, we see that some of the pressure comes from our idols of success, respect, pleasure. In his presence we realize that God specializes in impossible situations and our faith is renewed. When we do fail, we remember that the greater our sin-the greater is the love of our savior in forgiving us.

Only the gospel of grace can transform the heart of a man-and that is the ultimate goal of discipleship.

Filed Under: Men Tagged With: Men's Ministries

How can I get my men spiritually connected at the level of their walk with Christ

November 22, 2008 by Gary

How can I get my men spiritually connected at the level of their walk with Christ so they are not so alone in their spiritual battles?

A. Have a clear picture of your goal: Every man meeting regularly with one or two other brothers for encouragement and accountability in their spiritual battles.

B. Recognize that each of your men can be placed on a continuum of male connection in your church that might look like this:

<< Know No one << Acquaintances >> Friends >> Brothers

  1. Acquaintances are those whose name you know
  2. Friends are those with whom you participate in some activity. It might be the softball team, board of deacons, or Bible study. Friends socialize and share common values.
  3. Closer friends are those you might have over to your home or might have lunch with during the work week.
  4. We’re using “brothers” here to refer to men who know what is happening at the level of each other’s soul. They are able to encourage and pray for each other because they know each other’s spiritual battles. As this “brother” relationship deepens, they begin to ask to be held accountable for their actions.

C. Realize that getting men to the point where they are connected as brothers is a process that takes time. Trust must be built before men reveal what is going on inside. Usually this process takes years. It rarely happens automatically. Rather, the men’s ministry must be intentional about helping men move from the no relationships, or superficial relationships (left) to connection with a brother or two at the level of their spiritual lives (right side of continuum).

D. Men find it easiest to build friendships when they are shoulder to shoulder working together to accomplish a common task. Keep this principle in mind especially as you plan events for the least connected men-those on the left side of the continuum.

E. Although working together as a team to accomplish an objective is the most natural way men connect, we must recognize that our natural tendency in that connection is to be superficial. Christian men must be challenged to overcome their natural masculine desire for autonomy, i.e. be intentional about building relationships with other Christian men. We are to be so connected to some brothers that we confess our sins to one another (James 5:16), consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, (Heb. 10:24), and depend daily upon one another (I Cor. 12:21).

F. As you design activities for your men’s ministry, always:

  1. Know which group on this continuum of male connection you are targeting
  2. Include a component to help men connect at some level.
  3. For example:

    a. Follow up the softball season with a funny, well done, awards banquet. Be sure that any newcomers to the team are personally invited by other team members and given a place to sit with them. The banquet could be structured with a contest so that each table has to work together to come up with their answers to the game questions.

    b. Seminars such as Success that Matters or Great Dads have excellent 6 week follow up small group studies. These studies are safe because they review material heard at the seminar and because they are only six weeks long. Such groups give men a taste of connection and they may decide to keep meeting after the 6 weeks is over.

G. One of the best ways to get men connected at the level of their soul is a men’s Bible Study or large-group presentation, with table discussion afterward.

  1. Man In the Mirror has many excellent resources for men’s Bible study, including DVD series of Pat speaking and follow up discussion questions. Click here to visit their website.
  2. You can check out our bookstore for men’s Bible studies by clicking here.
  3. However, we must recognize the limitations of men’s Bible studies –Monthly studies can do very little to help men connect at the level of their everyday lives because they meet too infrequently –Weekly men’s studies rarely reach more than 15% of the men in the congregation and often fizzle out. Couples’ home groups compete with such men’s groups. Also, men do not like coming home from work and going back out to a weekly study. –Often men’s small groups that do exist are more about sharing opinions than about fighting spiritual battles. They are 80% study with prayer requests tacked onto the end.

H. Consider using another structure for helping men connect as brothers-Check 6 Partnerships. (Note: “I’ll check your six” is military language for, “I’ve got your back.”)

1. Check 6 Partnerships are:

–Not a couples’ group, but a band of brothers

–Not a 2 hour Bible study, but a 1 hour breakfast,lunch, or phone call

–Not an evening away from your family, but an hour fromyour work day

–Not 6-8 guys, but 2-4 guys

–Not focused on learning, but focused on fighting

–Not based on a meeting agenda that generates opinions, but a meeting agenda that generates connection as brothers

2. There is great Biblical precedent for such relationships:

–Jesus and the inner three

–Elijah and Elisha

–David and Jonathan

–Paul and Timothy

–Peter and Mark

3. For more information on Check 6 Partnerships go to www.forgingbonds.org

Filed Under: Men Tagged With: Men's Ministries

How can I be better equipped for men’s ministry?

November 15, 2008 by Gary

How can I be better equipped for men’s ministry?


A. Sign Up for Get In the Game–the PCA E-letter on Men’s Ministry


B. Take the 15 minute Man in the Mirror On-line training course (click here http://www.maninthemirror.org/.


C. Read and study No Man Left Behind. (order from PCA Bookstore)


D. Take your men’s ministry leadership team to a “No Man Left Behind” training seminar (click here— http://www.maninthemirror.org/click on training center


E. Click here if you would like a 30 minute phone call from a men’s ministry coach gyagel@forgingbonds.org

Filed Under: Men Tagged With: Men's Ministries

Equipping and the Future of Discipleship

November 1, 2008 by Dennis

Nothing will ever take the place of one-on-one discipleship, and this article will not attempt to prove otherwise. Right now, I want you to just dream about what lies ahead for training in the future, the near future.

A number of years ago, I saw a cartoon where a preacher says to the congregation. “Now would you all key in … ” They all had laptops. I just laughed, but how far-fetched is that today? How many colleges don’t require them as standard equipment?

I have argued for years that the paper and ink book as we know it will begin fading away in my lifetime. Everyone then says to me that they do not like reading a book on a computer. Neither do I, but picture this: a handheld device that has a screen about the size of a book. It reads clearly. Beyond that you can change the font, its size and color, highlight the text, dog-ear the pages, and even make space to write in your own notes. Does this sound like science fiction? Well, I saw my first device like this in 1997! Today they are beginning to appear on the market. You don’t think this will take off for years? I was sitting on a ferry in Seattle a few weeks ago, and a woman in her forties was sitting across from me reading a book she downloaded from Amazon.

How does this affect discipleship? I am 57 and have used a computer since 1985, but I am not really what you would call a techno guy. However, I do know that times are changing – fast. The younger generation we want to reach knows nothing but computers, and they expect them to do everything.

Now, picture this for a Bible study. Your whole group has a device like I mentioned. They are doing the recently published study of Genesis, written by PCA pastor Will Hesterberg. There are many questions in the study that require students to write in their answers, and they can do it right on the screen – in class or at home.

CEP is working very closely with Logos Bible Software to begin producing such material in the near future. It will not only be student material. The package will contain video segments, PowerPoint presentations, notes for the students, and everything else needed to teach the course. But there will be one more feature for the teacher. Using Logos Bible Software, the teacher will be able to do research through their own, affordable library which may contain 300, 700, or more than 10,000 theological books. The teacher will not waste time trying to find things in several different books. All he or she will need to do is type in the reference (Bible text, word, or topic) and the software will search and open every source available in that library. You have got to see the power and ability of this system to believe it.

Am I promoting Logos Bible Software? You bet I am. Working with Logos, CEP will be able to expand its training and resources in incredible ways. You will begin to see more and more materials being produced by us in conjunction with them.

PS. In the future, don’t be surprised if you begin to get Equip to Disciple sent to you electronically with the capability of taking the articles and doing further research in Logos.

Filed Under: Church Leadership, Equip Tips Tagged With: Equip Tips, Teachers/Disciplers

A Kaleidoscope… One Scenario of the PCA

November 1, 2008 by Charles

Editor’s Note: Please read this article in conjunction with the book review of Young, Restless, Reformed by Collin Hansen and the review of Quitting Church by Julia Duin.


Recently, I was asked a very pointed question by a well known PCA teaching elder: Would you invest in the PCA?” What a question! My first response was: “I have invested my life in the PCA. As one of the original group that organized the PCA, plus having spent the major part of my life and ministry working at the denominational level, of course I have invested in the PCA.” But his question had more of a future thrust to it. “Would you invest in the PCA?” Realizing he was pressing for my thoughts about the present and future of the church, after thinking for a few minutes, I replied: Follow me carefully. I believe the denominational paradigm is valid. as long as it does not isolate us from believers in other settings. Having said that,1 think the PCA is the best option available to anyone wanting to identify with a biblically Reformed body of believers. I know of no better at this point, as long as those who are part of the denomination feel accountability within that model. But honestly, I am deeply challenged and concerned about the future of the PCA There seems to be a growing nonconfessional focus, even with our official ‘good faith’ or ‘loose subscription’ position to our standards, which creates some new and challenging problems.” Some people are embracing the doctrines of grace but not necessarily from our Reformed, confessional theology, which can and will work against the denominational paradigm.

Of course my teaching elder friend continued to press for further explanation. Having recently given my “state of the church” analysis to the Christian Education and Publications staff and committee, I began to elaborate on both my hopes and concerns for our PCA.

As I reminded my friend, and as you read my general response, please realize my history, background, and involvement in the PCA. As a minister in the Southern Presbyterian Church for several years, I was defrocked by that denomination when I announced my withdrawal and my commitment to being a part of organizing what became the PCA. I could handle that circumstance because I believe truth is real and truth matters, including integrity. I wanted to be part of a younger generation that would have a great love for Gods truth in all areas life; but as an idealist in that objective, I was realistic enough to know that we often pay a price for such an ideal.

Click here to read entire publication in PDF (Acrobat Reader required)

From the beginning, the PCA has had things that have made it special; and I have had hopes that our denomination would set the tone for others to follow: It has been my positive experience to see the PCA grow from its small roots in mainly the southeastern part of the country to a church that has spread all over North America. It has been my privilege as well as delight to travel across the church working with local church leaders and teachers. Our church is blessed with some extraordinarily gifted men and women who love the Lord and desire to serve Him.

The PCA has not only had unity of commitment to the Sovereign Lord, His Word, and His church, reflected by a common confessional commitment, but it has had diversity within that framework. I explained further to my friend that while I have appreciated the unity/diversity of the PCA I can begin to see a shift in the balance toward theological diversity. Then I said that my thoughts are not intended to offend anyone but to merely give my description of our church.

I believe there are five sub-groups within the PCA. They represent both our unity and diversity. If you will, notice the following schematic, looking from left to right. Realize the names of the five groups are my humble effort to be descriptive and not evaluative at this point.

View Chart


The first group I call the “Reformed fundamentalists.” Some have called these churches “‘TRs” or “truly Reformed.” They operate on the foundation and authority of God’s Word. They are confessional from a “strict subscription” position. They demonstrate a great love for the church, value the denominational paradigm and have no problem with the church’s foundational authority base in the Word of God. Although some have been accused of elevating the standards to an equal or higher plane than Scripture, I do not believe this is the case. Our ultimate allegiance is to the Word of God. Our confessional commitment merely expresses our commitment to the system of doctrine found in Scriptures.

The second group, the “Reformed evangelicals,” also has a strong commitment to God’ s Word accompanied by a love for and commitment to Reformed confessional theology, though in a less strict or “good faith” approach. This group has a great love for the church within the denominational model as well and takes our standards seriously, as “containing the system of doctrine” found in Scripture.

The third group, “the neo-Reformed,” has a high view of Scripture but in a somewhat more broadly eclectic manner regarding confessional boundaries. This group has a strong leaning to focus more on the local church and its ministry with less emphasis on the denominational paradigm, and thus has the tendency to act more independently. (A fuller description of this group is seen in the book review in this issue of Young, Restless, Reformed byColin Hansen.)

The fourth group, the “post-conservative evangelicals,” appreciates Scripture but may have a different perspective, or maybe even a new perspective, on Scripture. Those of us who were taught neo-orthodox theology in seminary see much similarity here regarding the Bible. This group tends to prefer few to no confessional boundaries; and theologically, they would be more broadly evangelical and generally embrace only a local church commitment. They would tend to make more of an antithesis between being Reformed and evangelical than the previous three groups.

The fifth group, the “emergent movement,” is only somewhat present at this time in the PCA, at least in a more sympathetic way than with groups one, two, and three. This group is intentionally non-traditional, non-confessional, and committed to embracing a Christianity placed within a postmodern paradigm that makes truth and authority subjective at best. It also questions the entire organized or institutionalized church model as we have known it, especially the denominational paradigm, which is generally viewed from this perspective as out of touch, authoritarian, or negative and judgmental.

The first three groups are strongly committed to the sovereignty of God, truth and authority, the doctrines of grace, love for the church, and faithfully preaching and teaching within and among those with a Calvinistic theology. Groups four and five adopt more of a non-foundational postmodern framework, which attempts to fit Christianity into it As a generalization, admitted by some who have already left this movement, the emergents desire to focus on a non-Calvinistic and non-traditional model which talks not about biblical, universal truth or institutional Christianity but rather conversations and relationships.

As my conversation continued with my friends, remarked that as you move from left to right on the the chart on the previous page, especially beyond groups one and two, the next three groups, while having a presence in the PCA, diminish in size considerably.

Here is what I have observed and experienced over the years. While groups one and two have learned how to work together, even with their differences, groups three, four, and, five tend to operate differently, Please understand, I believe groups four and five are only embryonically present in the PCA but could continue to grow if we move further away from our authority base, confessional boundaries, and the denominational model.

What happens in the next few years will be extremely important. While some remain committed to the denomination theologically, as well as ecclesiastically, others are not as intentional in reflecting that commitment. Consequently, we need to be extremely careful in what we teach, advocate, and promote in the PCA. We have been quick to advocate some potentially good things and also some things that could end up working against the very denominational paradigm that provides our framework, Here are two examples. While we appreciate and encourage the new concept of the church being missional (meaning that missions starts at home in our neighborhoods and then moves out into the entire world), when churches carry the concept to the extremes, many do not actively participate in the life of the denomination as a whole, Even now, some churches within the PCA are not supporting the whole work of the church. Presently, less than one half of PCA churches support the denominational committees and agencies. Though the PCA Book of Church Order 14.1 has adopted the organizing principle that it is the duty of each church to support the whole work of the church, this present situation works against the denominational model and the PCA has not satisfactorily addressed it. ]t is not enforced even though the principle is part of the PCA Constitution.

Another example is an emphasis on “movements” and “networks.” Men such as D. M. Lloyd Jones and John R.W. Stott have cautioned us in the past that movements have a history of pulling people and resources away from the local church, as well as the denomination; hence they ultimately work against the denominational paradigm. In practice the PCA has demonstrated more of a supportive posture to the movement concept and the results are challenging. The committees and agencies of the PCA have to work within a denominational paradigm but each has to raise its own funds. With the reality mentioned previously regarding the number of supporting churches, doing realistic budgets and funding assigned or approved programs becomes challenging, difficult, and sometimes impossible.

So to answer the question, “Would you invest in the PCA?” I would say yes. as long as we maintain our identity with theological integrity and honesty. As long as we are committed to the authority of God’s truth, especially revealed in His Word, within our confessional boundaries, preaching and teaching the doctrines of grace within the context of a biblically Reformed kingdom perspective. I would say yes as long as we continue to manage our unity/diversity and do not allow Satan to cause us to lose our uniqueness by tipping the scales either way. Diversity without unity is chaos. Unity without diversity is mere uniformity.

The PCA is a confessional church. That’s what its founding in 1973 was all about. Our confessional commitment is to the Westminster Standards. even though we have a high appreciation for other similar Reformed creeds and confessions. We do value continuing to do theology and being Reformed according to the Word in a way that communicates with people today There are many issues to which our standards do not speak because they were written at a specific time in history, but we are called on to give a biblical response to those issues today Within the PCA there is and should always be a freedom to speak to those issues from a biblical base that will keep us within our confessional boundaries. When we adopted our Constitutional Standards in 1973. we also adopted a process that allows us to study, rethink, and restate some things. always with the aim to be reforming according to God’s Word.

There is a basis of hope found in the very things that have brought us together. If we will stay the course, speak the truth in love, and come along side and minister to one another. including holding one another accountable with integrity and authenticity, there is hope. One of our unique challenges is trying to be a denomination with a large number of members who have never really seen a denominational paradigm in action, at least not in a positive way. Yet, the truth remains. We can accomplish more together than we can alone, especially with those with whom we share doctrinal affinity. That’s the biblical model: working together at all levels of the church.

Time will tell for the PCA if we are a solid investment. Presently, the clock is ticking. Lastly, I said to my friend, “Tell me what you heard me say lest i have not been clear in my response.”

Filed Under: Church Leadership Tagged With: Church Leadership

Life Changing Men’s Events

October 1, 2008 by admin


Life Changing Men’s Events
By Gary Yagel

On a warm November evening in 1966, at a camp called Hilltop, I faced the most important decision of my life. I had just been challenged to fully devote my life to Jesus Christ. Along with the other kids on this Young Life weekend, I was outside, observing the 20 minutes of silence following the Saturday night talk. Alone with God, I confessed my sins and surrendered my life to him.

That night I did what I’m sure my pastor, Sunday School teacher, and Young Life leader had talked to me every week about doing. But it was not until I got away on a retreat that I came face to face with the need to make a decision about following Christ, wholeheartedly. In Young Life circles, summer and weekend camps are notorious for the way God’s Spirit uses them to lead teens to surrender to Christ.

What does this have to do with men’s ministry? A lot. A weekend retreat or a Saturday morning seminar is a powerful tool in the hands of the Holy Spirit to grow men to new levels of surrender and commitment to Christ. Consider these benefits of such an event for men:

  1. The Biblical content they can receive. Getting men together by themselves enables teaching in two areas that are specific to men-their unique responsibilities as husbands, fathers, and spiritual leaders, and their unique temptations due to their hard-wiring as men. It is true that men could get the same content by reading a book or listening to an MP3, but 98% won’t. They are far more likely to come to a seminar or retreat that addresses their issues as men than to pick up a book and actually read it.

  2. Deeper connection with the other men. 94% of Christian men have no best friend. They are fighting their spiritual battles alone. A carefully planned seminar or retreat will encourage the kind of discussion that enables men to realize that they are not alone in their struggles. Very often it is right after experiencing this closeness at a retreat or seminar that a man will decide to get into a weekly men’s study or begin meeting weekly for breakfast with a few close brothers for encouragement and accountability.

  3. Renewed Passion for Christ. Today’s men are overworked and exhausted. They are so busy meeting their responsibilities on the job, in their homes, and in their churches, that their emotional tank is often near empty. A great seminar or retreat pours the energy of renewal into men’s souls. Time away from the routine allows a man to recover his spiritual perspective, think about things he has pushed to the back of his mind, and find rest. Often it is not necessarily a great insight that benefits him most from a Saturday morning seminar. It is the renewal of his passion.

There is a caveat about retreats though; they need to be done well. Young Life promises teens the greatest week or weekend of their lives, and they do all they can to make that promise come true. Our men’s events don’t have to quite that well done-but they need to be well planned, and very male-friendly. The speakers need to have something valuable to say about the issues men care most about. These issues are explained in the FAQ part of our PCA men’s ministry website click here.

To help you find men’s seminar and retreat speakers within the PCA we are compiling a speaker list, which will be posted on our website. We have listed those we know about later in this issue of GITG. Please email us with information about PCA men’s speakers and websites you know about gyagel@forgingbonds.org

gitg-small.gif
Article originally part of “Get in the Game”
a periodic email communication from CEP
October / November 2008 Vol. 4 No.4

Filed Under: Men Tagged With: Men's Ministries

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