CDM Archive

Discipleship Ministries of the PCA

Children's Ministry

A Parent’s Toolbox

by

Untitled

Lisa Updike

November 16, 2015

 

This article was originally written for families at Covenant Presbyterian Church in Harrisonburg, VA, by the church’s Children’s Ministry Director, Lisa Updike. Therefore, it references practices and resources particular to a local church. However, most of the content gives applicable advice to parents as they seek to help their children grow in their faith.

At Covenant Presbyterian Church, the Children’s Ministries exists to assist parents to nurture in children a love of Jesus Christ, a deep reliance on the gospel of grace, and a life of joyful worship and witness. Recognizing that the family is the first place of training up the next generation, we desire to come alongside the family, as part of the bigger family of God to love, train, and encourage all of our kids that they might call on the Lord for salvation and then become fishers of men.

It’s a tough job- being a parent! And, many of us come ill equipped to know where to begin when it comes to things like family worship and teaching our children to walk in the ways of God. Knowing what a challenge this is, the Children’s Ministries Team works hard to give you a variety of tools to have at your disposal, enabling you to make the most of our Sunday morning worship time!

Early Childhood

Children aged 3-Kindergarten, may attend both Children’s Church and Sunday School. The lesson taught in Sunday School and Children’s Church is the same, but presented in slightly different ways each time, and with a different follow up craft or activity. Here are some ways to help make the lessons more impactful:

Notice that the Lesson Focus is in the bulletin. As you walk your child back to Children’s Church you can casually mention, “I noticed your lesson today will be about _______. I can’t wait for you to tell me about it!”

The Lesson Focus is also displayed in the hallway, along with a discussion starter. Take note of the discussion starter, and use it as you talk with the kids during your car ride home, over dinner, or as part of family worship that week.

Use the craft(s) as a point of discussion and review. Display the craft at home for the following week and refer to it, reviewing briefly the lesson, and creating expectation for the following week’s lesson, “You learned so much about how God spoke through Moses! I can’t wait to hear what you will study this week in Sunday School!”

The Lesson Title, Bible Truth, Lesson Focus, and Memory verse for each week can be found on our website.

Use the Master Plan in planning family worship by reading and talking about the same stories and themes together at home.

Elementary Ages

Children 1st through 5th grade join us for the worship service. Much change happens in a child as they progress through these years! Here are some hints to help make Sunday morning more impactful for your elementary aged child:

During Church

  • Remember that your child is watching you! Let that encourage you to direct your attention to the Lord.
  • Smile at your child during the service and tell him or her how happy you are to have them worshipping with you!
  • Have a “Sunday morning” bag for each child that includes things like a notebook, pencil, crayons, and Bible.
  • Recognize that teaching a child to worship does NOT mean keeping them quiet and still. While it is important to teach our children respectful behavior, our goal is engagement, not silence.
  • Expect your child to participate by standing when the congregation stands, reading aloud when we read aloud, and to follow along in the sermon notes.
  • Throughout the week prior, pray for the worship leader, and preaching pastor. As your child invests his/her heart in the service to come, it prepares them to participate more fully.
  • Ask your child to try to remember at least one thing that stood out to him or her from the sermon.

Before Church

Read the “All About Sunday” e-mail to prepare yourself and your family for Sunday. Notice that the songs we will be singing are listed, and you can even print off the lyrics to the song! Friday and Saturday nights during your family worship or bed time routine, use these songs. Go over tough words, memorize the chorus. Look over the Bible passage with your child. Ask them what it tells us about the nature of God. Ask them what it tells us about the nature of man. Ask them to guess what the pastor might discuss.

During the Sermon

Use the Children’s Sermon Notes.

  • Pick up one or both of the Children’s Sermon notes. Look over them with your child as you settle in to your seats waiting for the service to begin.
  • Offer help and encouragement when needed in filling them out.
  • Point to similarities between the adult notes and the children notes.
  • Use the questions and discussion points in the car ride home, over lunch, or during family worship throughout the week.
  • As children develop the academic skills to read and write more easily, teach the kids to date their notebook, put the title of the sermon, the Bible passage, and one to three “nuggets” from the sermon. They can then fold and tuck their sermon notes into their notebook.

In Sunday School

  • Come to Sunday School Assembly from 10-10:15 and discover what your kids are memorizing. Have them help you memorize the same catechism questions, information, and verses that they are learning.
  • Visit the Sunday School class from time to time. Introduce yourself to the teacher(s), and offer to help.
  • LOOK AT THE SUNDAY SCHOOL PAPERS! Don’t let your kids simply make airplanes with them. These handouts are a treasure that can be used as discussion starters for family worship, for lunch time conversation, and for training your child to have their own daily devotional time.
  • Help your child with Sunday School “homework.” Sweet times of prayer and conversation often result!

During Family Worship through the Week

Do the words “Family Worship” fill you with feelings of guilt?  Or Fear? Or Bewilderment?

Don’t let the idea of leading your family in 2-4 times of family devotions a week overwhelm you! Here are some simple ideas to help you get started in this important practice that communicates to your children the centrality of the Gospel in everyday life. You don’t need to do them all every day. Use these ideas as a resource until your “pump gets primed.”

  • Pick a consistent time. Many people find that right after dinner works well, or between dinner and dessert, while others enjoy breakfast time devotions.
  • Keep it short, simple, and pleasant.
  • Don’t know what to talk about? Use the sermon notes from Sunday and review the theme of the sermon one day, ask some questions on another day, and on another day discuss how your family can apply the things learned into your lives.
  • Memorize a Bible passage as a family, and use that as your theme for a few weeks.
  • Keep a list of prayer requests and let the kids take turns praying for people, events, the church, and family.
  • Sing a song or two. Use the Lyric sheets From  the “All About Sunday” e-mail, one of the church song books, or your VBS CDs.
  • Work your way steadily through the Children’s Catechism, memorizing the answer to each question. Take time to discuss each one, what it means and why it matters.

Family worship doesn’t have to be overwhelming! Getting started and then remaining consistent are probably the most difficult aspects of the whole thing. Please know that the Children’s Ministries Team at Covenant Presbyterian Church is praying for God to be at work in you and your whole family!

Children in Corporate Worship

by

kinderkierke

Barksdale Pullen

November 16, 2015

 

During the Perimeter Conference lunch panel discussion, John Kwasny referenced teaching by Dr. Barksdale Pullen on the issue of children in corporate worship.  Many of you have asked about this, so here is a wonderful article he wrote on this several years ago.  (Remember, there are many different views on the subject and this perspective should be considered if your leadership is trying to make a decision about children’s worship.)

 

Recently, there has been discussion concerning the role of children in the worship service.  What follows is a brief summary on what I perceive to be the Biblical position of children in worship.  Simply stated, I believe that children, as part of the covenantal community, are invited by God to worship him in the assembly of his people. To encourage parents, in any form, to be separate from their children during corporate worship is a violation of God’s Word. More important is the question of why having children in worship matters. Is worship really all that significant in the formation of Christian children?

Fundamentally, we must recognize that every action of our lives molds our character. An environment of humility, reverence, obedience, and eagerness (some of the most prominent reactions of biblical characters when they encountered God or his messengers) will train children in essential aspects of a faith-full disposition.

‘The only thing that the Church does that no one else can do is worship the triune God.  Therefore, if we want to raise children to rejoice in being members of the Christian community, what we do in worship is critically important.  Both parents and congregations have enormous – but enormously worthwhile – work to do to train our children in the habits and practice of worship’[3]

This brief will consists of three parts:

  • What is the church?
  • What is Worship?
  • Answering objections to children in church

WHAT IS THE CHURCH?

The fundamental theological issue in question is the nature of the Church.  Of what does the Church consist?  Does the church consist of a collection of individual believers?  The Reformed/Presbyterian view is that the church is composed of believing families.  As we refer to our confessional standards, which are built upon the Bible, we see that children are considered a part of the covenantal community at baptism.   They are part of the covenantal community based not on their own belief, but on the belief of their parents. (WCF XXVIII)  Thus as members of the covenantal community, under their parent’s authority, they are entitled to the rights and privileges. (WCF XXVII, LC Q62))

Much has been made that in the Reformed/Presbyterian view the family is central, not the individual believer. (That is not to imply the individual believer is not important.)  The Biblical evidence supports the traditional Reformed/Presbyterian view.  Children participated in the Passover meal, and in various feasts (Ex. 12:1-4; 16:9-17).  Parents were to ensure that their children kept the Sabbath holy, which included Sabbath worship (Ex. 20:8-11).  Children were to be instructed in the law of the Lord, particularly by their parents (Deut. 6:7).  Entire families were commanded to listen to the reading of the law every seventh year (Deut. 31:9-13).  In Joel 2:16 the Lord invites “nursing children” to gather with the rest of God’s people in sacred assembly.  To refuse this invitation is an insult to the One who issues it.

Turning to the New Testament, children heard Jesus preach (Mt. 14:13-21; cf. Mk. 6:30-44).  Jesus encouraged people to bring their children to him and indignantly rebuked those who prevented children from coming to Him (Mt. 19:13-15; Mk.10:13-16; Lk. 18:15-17).  Several facts are particularly significant about this episode.  First, the Greek word for little children (paidion) may mean “infant;” the same word is used of a newborn in John 16:21.  This word is important because there is another Greek word for child (teknon) that refers explicitly to an older child.  Thus, it seems reasonable to conclude that the use of paidion in Matthew 19 and its parallels includes very young children, perhaps even nursing infants.  Second, the parents brought these very young children to be blessed by Jesus, even though the children themselves would not understand the blessing.  And Jesus did bless them, objectively, even though the children did not understand a word that he said.  More will be said on this point below.  Finally, this episode is significant because Jesus uses children as a model for adult believers.  Children’s church implies the opposite!  It implies that children must become like adults before they can enter fully into the life of the kingdom.

The rest of the New Testament corroborates, at least indirectly, these conclusions.  Peter’s words on Pentecost may imply that children were present during his sermon (Acts 2:38-41).  Moreover, Paul’s letters, which were read to the Churches during worship services, include specific applications to children (Eph. 6:1-3; Col. 3:20).  The quite obvious implication is that the children were present to hear the exhortations.

Nehemiah 8 states explicitly that only those able to understand listened to the reading of the law.  Several observations may suffice to show that this does not refute the earlier analysis.  First, this passage deals with a renewal of the covenant; it was not a “normal” worship service.  Second, the text calls attention to the fact that only those able to understand were included.(If this passage is taken as the norm, than this would imply that unbelievers should be excluded from the service since they are incapable of understanding until they have been converted.)   This may imply that such a practice was unusual.  Third, nowhere in this passage do we find a criterion to determine who is to be included in “those who understand.”  Thus, there is no way to determine how old the youngest participants were.  Even this assembly, in other words, may have included rather young children.  We simply do not know.  In any case, the example of Nehemiah 8 is very shaky grounds on which to establish a permanent practice in our worship.

WHAT IS WORSHIP?

Worship is central to our Christian faith.  Worship is not for us, the people, but it is our service directed toward God through the words and actions of adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and commitment. Worship is composed of individual acts, usually combined in group experience, in which we respond to God as reveled to us in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ and in which we recognize God as holy, loving, and present with us. The essence of worship does not change with the age of the individual.’[4]  My presupposition is that everything done in worship must have a biblical/theological basis.  However practical a certain practice may seem, it ought not be included in worship unless it is consistent with Scripture.  This is simply the Reformed regulative principle of worship. (WCF XXV,2)  If we add anything to Worship, then we must prove that Scripture, by example or explicit teaching, approves the practice.  For example, if we adopt children’s church without Scriptural warrant, we are doing one of two things.  First, we might choose to deny the validity of the regulative principle.  Or, second, we might accept the regulative principle, but adopt a practice that Scripture nowhere allows.  Both of these alternatives involve serious acts of disobedience to the Lord of the Church, whose Word is our only rule of faith and practice. (WCF I)

Worship, as defined by our confessional standards is giving glory to God. (WCF XXI)  The stress is giving praise to God, not what we receive from God.  Who is to Worship?  Again the WCF XXI and LC Q118 guides us in that families, individuals, and the assembly are to engage in Worship of God. One aspect of Worship can be seen as the gathering of the Church.  Again, who is the church?  The church is a collection of believing families.(LC Q62)  Therefore, corporate Worship involves the assembling of believing families.  To have children’s church, even if it is voluntary, implies that the children are not full members of Christ’s Church.  Children’s church creates fissures in the familial structure of the Church.  Thus, children’s church is inconsistent with a Reformed/Presbyterian view of the Church.

I believe that children, as part of the covenantal community, are invited by God to Worship Him in the assembly of His people.  To encourage parents, in any form, to be separate from their children during corporate Worship is a violation of God’s Word.

ANSWERING OBJECTIONS TO CHILDREN IN CHURCH

1.  One pragmatic justification for children’s church is basically that children cannot understand the “adult” service.  My response to this is threefold.  First, the Scriptural pattern is not “Understand, then obey;” rather, the Scriptural pattern is “Obey, in order to understand.”  The Lord gave detailed regulations for Israel’s worship, and explained very little.  They were to learn the meaning of the worship in the midst of the practice of worship.  So also with children.  We train them to obey the Lord’s command to worship Him at the same time they grow to understand what they are doing in worship.  Parents should review what goes on in worship to help them grow in their understanding.  Second, children do understand much more than we give them credit for.  The view that children cannot understand the things of God is without foundation in Scripture.  On the contrary, Scripture teaches that God ordains that praise should come from the lips of children and infants (Ps. 8:2).  Even in the womb, John the Baptist leaped with joy at the greeting of Mary, the Mother of God.  Children sang praises to Jesus as he entered Jerusalem on Palm Sunday (Mt. 21:12-17), and Jesus’ answer to the chief priests implied that the children were wiser than the religious leaders.  And we have already seen that Jesus uses children as models for adult believers.  Finally, if children do not understand our worship, perhaps this says something about Reformed/Presbyterian worship.  More on this below.

2.  Another justification for children’s church is that the children need to be taught.  The concern for teaching our children is good, but there are ample opportunities in the Church’s other ministries to teach them.  Biblically, the main responsibility for teaching children falls on the parents, not the Church.  Children’s church may be an excuse for some parents to neglect their responsibilities to teach their children at home and to review the worship service with their children.  A much more Biblical way to teach children on Sunday mornings would be to include specific applications to children in the sermon, as Paul did in his letters.

3.  One objection to the foregoing line of argument is that the children in children’s church are only missing part of the service, namely, the sermon.  And they are being taught.  The only difference is that they are not being taught by a minister of Christ in the assembly of God’s people.  But this apparently slight difference is of enormous significance.  Is there no difference between preaching in a worship service and teaching in Sunday School?  If not, why do we let women teach Sunday School, but deny them access to the pulpit during worship?  I believe that the difference lies in the priestly nature of the preaching of the gospel (Rom. 15:16).  However we formulate this, I think it clear from Scripture and from the Reformed understanding of preaching that preaching in the context of worship is a special means of grace different from the general teaching of the Word that would take place in children’s church.  Thus, when children are removed from the preaching, they are being cut off from a means of grace.

4.  Another objection is that children in worship are distracting.  I will not begin to deny this.  But if the Lord commands a certain practice, any practical inconvenience is clearly a secondary consideration.  Moreover, the Lord has revealed to us how we are to deal with distracting children:  we are to use the rod of discipline.  Simply put, we can train our children to sit still during worship, just as we train them not to pull books off the coffee table.  This approach may sound harsh, but no more harsh than the language of Scripture (cf. Prov. 23:13-14).  It has been suggested that this treatment might be a negative reinforcement for the child.  But God kills people for worshipping Him wrongly.  If the Lord disciplines for wrong worship, we must do so as well.  Indeed, by training our children to worship obediently, we may be saving them from death (Prov. 19:18; Lev. 10:1-3).

5.  The fact that a Reformed/Presbyterian worship does not appeal to children may be a reflection of the weakness of Reformed/Presbyterian worship.  Worship is for children.  By this I mean two things.  First, that children ought to be included.  Second, that true worship involves our becoming as little children, nursing infants, before a majestic and gracious Father.  We come as infants, relying for food on the merciful provision of our King and Savior, admitting our total dependence on His mercy.  A worship service that is characterized by a grave, sober, “adult” atmosphere is missing something.  Biblical worship is characterized by joy, awe, wonder; in other words, it’s characterized by child-like qualities.  Worship, after all, is celebration.

Again this is a brief on the role of children in the corporate Worship service and is not meant to answer all questions.  But, I believe that the basic position is clear, that children, as part of the covenantal community, are invited by God to Worship Him in the assembly of His people.  To encourage parents, in any form, to be separate from their children during corporate Worship is a violation of God’s Word.

 

[2] Dawn, Marva. Is It a Lost Cause? (Eerdmans), p68

[3] Dawn, Marva. Is It a Lost Cause? (Eerdmans), p 65

[4] Sandell, Elizabeth. Including Children in Worship, (Augsburg), p. 23

Children’s Ministry 101: Lesson 1 – Begin with Parents

by

parents

Dr. John C. Kwasny

November 11, 2015

 

This article was originally published by Dr. Kwasny on his blog at One Story Ministries. It can be found here.

So, you’ve been called to lead your church’s children’s ministry.  Congratulations!  You are entering into the vital work of telling “the next generation the glorious deeds of our LORD (Psalm 78:4).”  What a privilege you have to direct a ministry which points children to Jesus.  But where to begin?  Maybe you have inherited a ministry that has a well-established vision, philosophy, and programming.  Or maybe you are building from the ground up.  Whatever the case (and even if you have been doing this for a long time), it’s essential to build a ministry to children on a Biblical foundation.  So let’s get started.

In a sense, children’s ministry is a “population ministry”–the church ministering to the age group we call “children.”  So, we begin by figuring out what children (our target population) need, and then give it to them, right?  In a way, yes.  The church has a responsibility to evangelize and educate children, just like it does with youth and adults.  But a better way to think about it is that children’s ministry in the local church begins with parents.  Children have been given to their parents by God, with the command for parents to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).  Since parents have theprimary responsibility for their own children, what is the role of the church?  A careful look at Scripture will demonstrate that a church’s children’s ministry is called to the dual purpose of:

  • Leading parents in their task of raising their children.
  • Assisting parents in their task of raising their children.

So, how do we LEAD parents in their task of raising their children?  That’s an essential first question that should drive your planning. But before we answer that, consider how this question connects children’s ministry with your church’s adult education/discipleship ministry.  The strength (or weakness) of the education and discipleship of your adults directly impacts the children’s ministry!  When adults are growing in Christ and living out God’s Word, then they will be equipped to teach and train the next generation.  But if your adults are languishing, immature, or absent, the children will be impacted negatively as well.  So now let’s begin to answer the question: How do we LEAD parents in their work of training their children in the LORD?  Here are just a few ideas to get you started:

  • Encourage commitment to your adult discipleship/education ministry, including learning from the pulpit ministry, adult Sunday School, small groups, etc.
  • Offer Biblical parenting counseling to deal with individual parenting issues.
  • Offer periodic marriage and parenting studies, conferences, and retreats.
  • Choose children’s curricula that also offers parents the tools to teach their children the Bible at home.
  • Regularly advertise resources/books/blogs that can help parents raise/teach their children.

Then, the children’s ministry is also called to ASSIST parents in the task of raising their children in the discipline and instruction of the LORD.  As members of the local church, parents are not alone in this vital work, since children are members of the covenant community.  It takes a church to raise its covenant children!  So, what are things that children’s ministry can do to come alongside parents as they raise their children?  Just a few more ideas:

  • Develop a safe, secure, and loving nursery ministry to care for and disciple the littlest lambs while parents are being educated, trained and discipled.
  • Raise up committed “covenant parents” who will teach Sunday School, discipleship groups, catechism, children’s choirs, etc.
  • Choose children’s curricula that teaches all of God’s Word–whether or not parents are teaching their children at home.
  • Never just offer “childcare” while parents are being taught/trained/equipped.  Use these opportunities to evangelize and educate their children!
  • Provide opportunities for children to serve IN the congregation and WITH the congregation.
  • Provide opportunities for children to establish covenant relationships with one another.
  • Assist parents in training their children to be worshipers of God in the context of congregational worship.

Here’s a way to sum up our starting point (especially if you are a Presbyterian): Children’s ministry is driven by our covenant baptismal vows.  For those of us who baptize our covenant children, there’s typically a point in the sacrament where the pastor asks the congregation if they will commit to assisting these parents in the training and nurture of their children.  Of course (since the child is so cute), the entire congregation enthusiastically says YES!  Children’s ministry is the natural and Biblical outgrowth of this commitment. Children’s ministry exists to both LEAD and ASSIST parents in the education and discipline of their children.

The Fall, the Family, and the Covenant Community

by

Apple

DANNY MITCHELL

October 21, 2015

 

The methodology of any church’s ministry to adolescents should grow out of a marriage between biblical theology and ministry context.  If we understand ministry to youth in its simplest form—believing adults from inside and outside the nuclear family who invest of themselves in children and youth— then we can begin to see how discipling the next generation works itself out within the Covenant community.    I am of the opinion that after worshipping God, the raising and discipling of rising generations and the passing on of the faith to that generation could be viewed as God’s covenant people’s primary responsibility.

If that last sentence is anywhere close to being correct, then on some level, every church should regularly evaluate whether ministries to the rising generations are enough of a priority within their body.  However, debating that issue is not the purpose of this article.  Instead, I want to focus on the role that the Covenant community plays in helping parents with the raising and discipling of their children in a fallen world.

The cultural mandate in Genesis 1:28 set a familial trajectory for our first parents.  They were to be fruitful and multiply, not just for the sake of having children, but for the stated purpose of filling the earth and subduing it.  Implicit in this mandate is the responsibility of raising their children to be able to fulfill these responsibilities as well.  The children to come would need examples, lessons, love, and discipline for this great task.

The Fall didn’t take away Adam and Eve’s parental responsibility.  Scripture bears this out in several places ( Psa. 78, Deut. 6), at the same time showing that the design God had for familial relationships was marred by sin.  The epicenter, ground zero, for sin’s disastrous entrance into the world was the family. Sin focused on the family after the Fall when Cain killed Abel. After the flood only one family inhabited the earth but sin tore it apart (Gen. 9:18-28). Leading up to the formation of God’s covenant people in Genesis 12, the family clearly needs help.

Let me state the obvious: The family still needs help today, and if the Lord waits another century or two until his return, then the family will continue to need that help.  As long as parents with a sinful nature continue having children, born with a sinful nature into a sinful world, parents will struggle with the responsibility of raising and discipling their children.  Even though, in Christ, our sins are forgiven, and even though the Holy Spirit enables us to die to sin daily, we continue to need help raising our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

This is one of the reasons that the Lord formed his covenant people.  The family doesn’t exist in isolation but as part of a larger family.  Together, that larger family surrounds the parents and their children so that the covenant community participates in the raising and discipling of the children within that larger family.   When this happens, parents, children and the covenant community begin experiencing one of the covenant blessings of being part of God’s people.

This perspective of youth ministry moves the question of models and methods from a primary question to a secondary question.  As long as families within the local body are not trying to raise and disciple their children in isolation, as long as the covenant community isn’t trying to isolate youth ministry from the body, as long as adults in the congregation invest in the lives of adolescents, and as long as pastors and elders view this call to disciple the rising generations as a primary responsibility of the Church, then youth ministry can move from a programmatic ministry of the Church to a ministry that emphasizes multigenerational relationships with the covenant family.  In this way, programs will exist to serve these relationships, instead of programs existing because of the lack of relationships between the adult members of the body, and the rising generations.

Because I have been in youth ministry for two and half decades, I know that paragraph oozes with “Pollyanna”-thinking about the church and its ministry to youth.  It saddens me that that is the case.  Perhaps moving from questions about proof texts for youth ministry, to developing an understanding of the theology of next-generation ministry (within the context of covenant theology) would help the Church see these ideas not as “pie in the sky” thinking, but as biblically informed ideas for the church.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go plan games for youth group while the adults have Bible study in the fellowship hall.  I wonder if blindfolded kickball is a good idea?