CDM Archive

Discipleship Ministries of the PCA

Bob

A Member of the Family

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Baptism divides Christian people.

On the one side are those who are convinced it is reserved for those who believe in Jesus. A minority within that group says it is necessary for salvation and an even smaller number says it’s only effective when done by their church.

There are also those who see continuity in the Old Testament signs of faith. Passover gives way to the Lord’s Supper. Circumcision is replaced by baptism.

The familial nature of faith is part of the essence of the redemptive story. But it was blurred when the revivalists of the 18th and 19th centuries, capturing the spirit of American individualism, emphasized the individual’s relationship with God to the virtual exclusion of the family. We live with that legacy today.

In a discussion of marriage, the apostle Paul said, “the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife” and vice versa. That is strong language. The least we might conclude is that a believing spouse provides some sort of covering for the unbelieving spouse. Perhaps implicit in this is that the unbelieving partner might be more open to faith in Jesus.

Even more compelling is Paul’s virtually throwaway line “otherwise your children would be unclean but as it is, they are holy.” (1 Cor. 7:14)

When a baby is baptized in the Presbyterian Church in America, the child becomes a member of the church. That recognizes the covenantal umbrella. The child belongs by virtue of the faith of the parent(s).

Sometimes it has meant that we assume too much. The gospel is not clearly and compellingly presented as the child grows. I believe that happened to me. But we might also assume too little, urging the child to pray the “sinner’s prayer” at the earliest possible opportunity. There is no magic in such a prayer. It might or might not signal belief. And a commitment to Jesus can be made without ever uttering the words to such a prayer.

We can’t take this challenge lightly. Money spent to help build up families and disciple children and young people will bear significant dividends. Examine your church budget. Where does the money go? Look at your statistics. What’s happening to your young people? Are your households maturing in the faith?

There are occasions when an unbelieving parent has had to stand or sit silently by while the believing spouse takes the vows of their child’s baptism. That’s appropriate but it ought to stir a restlessness to see the family united in faith.

There are many stories of congregations that have gotten used to the involvement of one spouse such that the other is virtually forgotten because he/she seldom if ever attends.

Many years ago a woman came by herself to our church in Connecticut. On one occasion I heard her say that she wished some man in the church would reach out to her husband. I decided to try and God blessed. After months of getting together to talk about anything and everything, always coming back to the gospel, he decided he was ready to follow Jesus. I wish I could say I’ve done that regularly. I wish that were a common practice in our churches.

Some of the most effective evangelism I know involves a believer inviting an unbelieving brother or mother or grandchild or adult child to services where the gospel is able to take root. The process might be more complicated in blended families but that’s where we are. So believing stepparents are presented with a great opportunity and challenge.

A synergism becomes possible when the church as the extended family builds up its households. And those households in turn build up the churches, which then impacts the community, enfolding others in the family of God.

Discouragement

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“Most people are walking around with a low-grade depression,” said my mentor, Richard W. Gray. That’s like walking around with a low-grade fever. I tend to run in cycles – up and down. Thankfully, as the years have gone by the lows are not as low and the highs not as high.

Palm Sunday I looked around in church. Attendance was down. The time had changed. An hour was lost. Spring break had begun. Yet I was expecting a whole lot more. We had been encouraging the congregation to try to bring someone on Palm Sunday and/or Easter. It appeared that we had accomplished little or nothing and I got discouraged.

Like a disease, disappointment can quickly make us negative about a lot of things. That began to happen to me. I started asking questions about the commitment of others, and my own commitment. What difference does the gospel make?

But it didn’t end there. I went from worship to a Sunday school class I’ve been teaching. We’ve had some great sessions. But on that morning attendance was down, and I found myself struggling through the material. It felt like the whole group was laboring to get with the program.

Note this: I didn’t say to the class, “I’m kind of down today.” In fact, I tried to mask it. But that’s virtually impossible.

Some years ago I had extensive conversation with a pastor who was deeply discouraged, seriously considering abandoning the ministry. One of the things he said was, “I’m careful not to let anyone in the congregation know how I feel.” My response: “You’re fooling yourself.”

That has played out in my own experience. I was still down when I led a Bible study group on Tuesday evening. We struggled through that session. However, I doubt that anyone would have put his or her finger on what I believe to have been the big problem.

It may sound like I’m suggesting that we ought to wear our feelings like a shirt, on display for anyone to see. But that isn’t always helpful. So where does that leave us?

1) It will help immensely if we are self conscious about what is going on in us. That is often difficult because we tend to be masters of denial and deception. I’ve heard people, red in the face, angrily contend that they were not angry. John Calvin understood that to know ourselves we must know God. To face what we know about ourselves in the presence of the Father will help us to see more what we are like, causing us to seek his mercy in fresh ways.

2) There will be occasions when it is appropriate to talk about our struggles, and times when it is not. But we must always be real. To cover ourselves with superficial expressions of piety or in other ways pretend that we are something that we are not is never appropriate. I have a vivid recollection of the minister who in one forum gave a distressing report about his personal situation, and in a matter of a few minutes, responded to another group’s greeting with a hearty “rejoicing in the mercy of the Lord.” He didn’t have to lay out his troubles with these people. I doubt it would have been appropriate. But one thing seemed clear. He was not rejoicing in the mercies of the Lord at that point in his experience. Most of the time we Christians don’t give others enough of a sense of what churns inside us. Perhaps that’s why opening ourselves to others may at times cause us to feel like we are jumping into an abyss of the unknown. We don’t want to face God or ourselves.

3) We must commit ourselves and our responsibilities to the Lord. There are times when the Spirit has taken me beyond my circumstances and abilities to use me in a particular setting. It can happen with you. Maybe it has. These are small indications of God’s grace and power.

4) Healing is often preceded by an open admission of our wound. That may be the heart of our reluctance to let ourselves be known to others or to God. To allow God, often more than others, to pick at the scabs of hurt and rebellion is too much to contemplate. Underneath it all we don’t really want to change. We may not like where or what we are, but we’ve been that way long enough that we are comfortable.

We urge change in those we teach. But do we really want to change? Do we really want to know God?

Sunday School and Small Groups

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What’s the difference between an adult Sunday school class and a small group? Why is it important for a church to offer both? Such questions would not have been raised a couple of generations ago. Every opportunity to continue the disciple-making process would be welcome – at least in theory. But I hear these questions a lot today.

Also, most congregations would not have been as intentional as many are today. Purpose statements accompanied by strategies to accomplish specific goals were relatively rare in the Christian community twenty-five years ago.

Both Sunday school and small groups are programs. Consequently, they should be viewed as means to an end – nothing more. If they serve a given purpose, presumably one better than a possible alternative, they are worthwhile. If not, do something else. Time and resources are too important. The task is too big. And the resources, by comparison, often seem meager. My observation suggests that it is difficult for a congregation to put an equal emphasis on both small groups and Sunday school. Invariably one will do better than the other. Let’s look at some specifics.

For the vast majority of churches, the biggest group of people gathers on Sunday morning. That alone makes Sunday morning an ideal discipling opportunity. The traditions surrounding Sunday school can be a significant inhibitor to using the time effectively. But instead of just letting things ride let’s do something about it.

Over the years I’ve had conversations with those who either had or were contemplating abandoning Sunday school in favor of small groups. My first question has been: What will you do to disciple your children? As often as not, that question was overlooked.

In some places a structure has evolved in which children attend Sunday school while the parents are in the worship service. I find that troublesome. Increasingly, we have situations where middle school and even high school students do not attend worship with any regularity. If we expect young people to continue in the church they must be integrated into the full-orbed life of the congregation.

It is possible to have a small group format on Sunday morning that could deal with two problems at once –

1. Childcare is almost always an issue with small groups. To hold them on Sunday morning in conjunction with a children’s Sunday school solves that problem.

2. Both children and adults would have opportunities for study and worship in a two-hour-plus block on Sunday.

But what is the difference between an adult Sunday school class and a small group?

In some churches the small group is primarily for fellowship — an opportunity for people to gather and tell their stories. Other elements such as Bible study are secondary. In such a setting, the difference might be striking because traditionally Sunday school has been a place to study the Bible. Yet it’s also true that the social fabric of some churches is knitted in adult Sunday school classes. In my experience, however, the level of sharing in the small group is almost always more personal – more intense.

That gives us the biggest indication of the difference between Sunday school and the small group. Some in the larger Sunday school class, which is quasi-academic in its setting, would never feel comfortable in a small group.

In small groups that I work with, Bible study is a significant component. So is prayer. It’s also important to have a task – to work together to make a contribution to others. The elements are similar in many Sunday school classes but the setting and the atmosphere make them distinct.

In the Sunday school class, ethics can be approached from a philosophical perspective. In the small group its more personal. Issues such as child rearing and marriage can be discussed more generally and systematically in the Sunday school. In the small group issues confronting members become the backdrop for discussion.

Bible study in the Sunday school can be a bit more academic without forsaking application and in the small group there can be application without neglecting the text. Thus at times the differences may seem subtle, at other points distinct.

In a world that is so ignorant of the Bible and a Christian community so lacking in its understanding of basic tenants of the faith, there is plenty validation for helping people understand the Scripture, the culture and the ways the Christian message applies personally and collectively.

An Important Job

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You’re important. Important to the Kingdom.

But someone says, “I just teach a Sunday school class for two-year-olds.”

Our grandson, who just turned three, tells me “I know Jesus loves me.” I can’t say what’s in his mind when he says that but he’s beginning to get the heart of the Christian message.

No matter how sophisticated our formulations of the faith become, it all comes back to this simple realization. “Jesus loves me, this I know for the Bible tells me so.” Could we say “all I needed to know I learned in Sunday school when I was two?”

It’s not hard for me to imagine that little grandson being a stinker in a few years. This grandfather certainly was. I made most of my teachers miserable.

You’re trying to teach fourth grade boys and it seems like you’re hitting your head against a wall. How long do you put up with that before you say, “enough is enough?” God’s got his hand on some of those boys and he’s given you the great privilege of helping to shape them into the men they will become.

Every person in God’s family is important. There are no “little” people.

Those God has called to teach in the church have been given the responsibility to pass the faith on to the next generation. But the next generation isn’t learning and then they don’t know about Jesus’ love, or what they know is void of Christian content. So to say you teach a class in Sunday school, hear verses in Pioneer Clubs, do projects in Vacation Bible School or become a pal to some child-says that you have been given an incredibly important job.

Never take it lightly. But relax and enjoy yourself. Watch God at work.

A Time to Evaluate

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I’m the Director of Discipleship Ministries at Covenant Church in Fayetteville, Georgia. For over a year we’ve been doing an in-depth evaluation of our Christian education efforts. Evaluation should be a regular part of everything we do.

We’ve looked at our community. Who we are reaching. Who we’re not. A large number of African Americans are moving into what we consider our “parish.” How is it possible for us to become a more racially integrated congregation?

We’ve looked at our purpose against the backdrop of the church’s broader purpose. We want “to introduce people to Jesus and help them grow in their relationship to him and to others.” The short version is “Reach and teach to love and serve.” That’s our summary of discipleship.

We’ve looked at our curriculum. Does it do what we want? Are there ways we need to supplement? We’ve checked attendance records. How are we doing relative to the community and to the church ministries? We interviewed teachers and leaders. What do they think they have achieved?

Then we took a further step, one that the church’s Christian Education committee thought was a natural outgrowth of our analysis. We decided to interview young people who spent a substantial part of their growing up years in the congregation. We invited six young adults to join a round table in which they assessed the impact of the congregation’s efforts on their behalf.

When I mentioned to them what we were doing, the response was basically, “What a gutsy thing to do.” But we didn’t think of it that way. In fact, I would favor such a discussion with some who had dropped out of church somewhere along the way.

It is God who changes hearts. But for whatever reason, he has chosen to use us. I believe he is most pleased when we do the best we’re able to do. To put it another way, a teacher hasn’t taught until the student has learned. With the gospel, learning is used by the Spirit to produce change – in our thinking, our desires, and our activities. So it makes sense to see what the product looks like. It also makes sense to assess the perceived impact our efforts have made.

In this case we were affirmed. Certain teachers and leaders stood out. The overall assessment was that they were grounded in our theology and sensitized to the importance of relationships. Mission trips opened their eyes to God’s will for his people everywhere. They were taught to serve. The biggest weakness discussed was the availability of programming for those recently out of high school.

The next step in our process is to talk with a larger cross section of the congregation to brainstorm where we go from here. Out of that, goals and strategy will emerge.

WHAT ABOUT SMALL GROUPS?

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John and Mary recently joined First Church professing their faith in Jesus. They attended an Inquirers’ Class and heard the pastor describe the church’s basic beliefs. They were sold on the church and its message because of the attention the pastor and other leaders lavished on them as they got involved. Now they are members and the leadership seems focused on the latest group of newcomers. How do they connect with others in the congregation? It’s an important question because if they don’t connect within a few months or so, they will be gone.

Bill and Sue are struggling at home with a variety of issues. The cumulative effect is their relationship is being destroyed. What can the church offer? Is there a safe place for them to deal with some of their problems?

For parents, children can be the source of great joy…and considerable pain. What role can the family of God play in addressing the dramas and the tragedies that occur in our homes?

In spite of the wealth enjoyed by many in our church family, significant numbers of us are burdened with thousands of dollars in credit card debt. Add that to car payments, mortgages and all the other bills due every month. Is there help in the Christian community? Too often difficulties at home end in an affair and then the disintegration of the marriage, leaving parents and children with horrible wounds that never heal completely. We believe in the sanctity of marriage. But we also know that Jesus calls us not simply to hold up a standard, but to offer help to those painfully aware of their failure.

Perhaps the most common problems voiced are those related to a job loss, an accident, serious illness, or the death of someone close. Is there a support system in the Christian family that extends beyond the initial crisis? If all this were not enough, many Christians simply don’t know the Bible. As important as that is, at best it’s a first step. The Bible must be taught, not simply as an abstract philosophical system, but with the life-changing message it carries in the power of the Spirit. Small groups are another means of addressing the situations described above.

Much has been written about small groups and millions participate in them. Groups are defined as usually three to fifteen people meeting regularly for a common purpose. There are support groups, therapy groups, fellowship groups, those addressing certain needs or interests (i.e. alcohol abuse, auto repair), and those committed to common tasks (a choir, etc). A group within the church ought to have a Christian purpose and that will often include significant Bible study.

I have been involved in such groups since the mid-1960s. Secular groups were beginning to proliferate and as the methodology was brought into the church there was a backlash. Some of the criticisms were justified. However, congregations began to see groups as a way to help people get to know each other and God in a better way while providing pastoral support for fellow members.

Groups in the church are not a recent phenomenon. Sunday school has been around for well over 200 years, and it has been mostly a small group movement. In fact, the demise of the ongoing adult class in the 1960’s and the beginning of adult electives in Sunday school accelerated the need for another small group model. Where ongoing classes have been reconstituted, the issue is the distinct role adult Sunday school and small groups are expected to play.

Let’s take a closer look at small groups.

OUR SOCIETY

It is no coincidence that the growth of small groups paralleled the cultural upheaval we experienced over a generation ago. The civil rights movement. The war in Vietnam. The search for truth. A desire to wrestle with ultimate questions. Baby boomers wanted some way to break down the sense of alienation and isolation reflected by the warning to “never trust anybody over 30.”

We’re not grappling with ultimate questions today. The search for truth has been abandoned. We’re united in our war on terrorism, and the attacks on September 11, 2001 temporarily shook many into a search for someone beyond ourselves who could offer help and solace. Racial reconciliation is still a long way off, but there’s something of a truce, a willingness to live and let live as people of every racial and ethnic group attempt to accumulate all the stuff necessary to live the good life. With some notable exceptions, the poor and diseased of society have been forgotten.

Groups today are often a lot less intense than they were 25 years ago. The boomers who once felt alienated by the system now run it. Families are fragmented, literally and figuratively, like never before. Neighborhoods have ceased to exist. We don’t even know the family next door. Networks of friends have become casual acquaintances or business relationships. This has also happened in the church. That’s where the small group can demonstrate its worth.

THE CHURCH

In a typical congregation, it’s possible to attend for years and hardly know anybody. I discover this every time I lead a group in an introductory activity. Recently I heard, after people had shared some basic information about their backgrounds and interests, “I’ve worshiped with these people for years and tonight I learned things I never knew.” The casual greetings exchanged in many congregations hardly provide a basis for sharing the burdens that threaten to overwhelm us. One means by which people can begin to get connected is through the Sunday school. Another is involvement in special activities. Service is the means by which some make friends. For many others, it’s the small group.

However, if groups are to maximize their effectiveness, getting assimilated into the life of the church is just one component. Groups need to be part of the disciple making process. Using Matthew’s 28:16-20 record of the Great Commission, there are two principle ingredients, baptism and sound teaching.

Baptism could be defined as introducing people to Jesus. Using the word baptism suggests that evangelism is the work of the church. Evangelism can happen in a small group, where real people with real struggles help each other honor Christ in various activities and circumstances of life. The person who doesn’t know Him will see what it means to follow Him and perhaps begin the pilgrimage.

I have had great experiences with groups made up of the people in the church and those interested in exploring the basics of the Christian faith. Materials are available to assist with such a group – among them John Stott’s Basic Christianity. The big challenge will be gathering a group. Addressing certain areas like the issues facing those separation or divorce will attract people outside the Christian community. Their needs might be great enough that they will be receptive to the gospel. Beyond that rests the challenge of integrating them into the life of the larger congregation. Both should be in view as you work and pray.

The second principle of disciple making is teaching to the end that we will obey everything that God has commanded. A group in the church should move beyond fellowship – even if it entails significant sharing. To fulfill a Christian purpose, issues need to be evaluated by the biblical message. One can grow out of the other, starting either with the Bible or a concern. The small group is probably the best forum for that in today’s church. Such a Bible study will lead to great prayer times.

Effective disciple making groups don’t just happen. It’s so comforting to hear Jesus telling us He has the power. “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me” and “I will be with you always, to the very end of the age.”

One additional component in a Christian group is a willingness to take on a task. That produces at least two things: someone is helped and the bonds that knit you together are brightened.

THE DOWNSIDE

Divisive?

Groups, like any activity, can become problematic. There are some where dissatisfaction with the church becomes a major topic week after week. That’s destructive no matter how much it’s couched in language suggesting the desire to make things better. This is not to say that churches don’t have faults, sometimes glaring ones. The small group, however, is not the forum for dealing with such issues.

Ingrown?

It’s relatively easy for a group that has clicked to become ingrown, in the same way that some churches do. In such a setting the newcomer is made to feel like an intruder. My practice has been to have groups go for a year, occasionally two, then start over. However, all it would take to change the dynamic would be one or two new members. That might mean that the same member would need to cycle out because of the size, though there are groups that grow well beyond fifteen or twenty people. They spend part of their time together and part in small groupings.

Another factor is whether groups should be open or closed. My strong preference is for an open group. I have found that it is much easier to assimilate new people than is sometimes suggested. This, too, keeps a group from becoming ingrown.

Heresy?

Given the nature of small groups, there will be opinions expressed that might make us cringe. For the most part these will die a natural death. A greater concern is to exercise enough control so that there is confidence in the leadership. If a group leader is off track, the group will be too. Either that or the group will likely disintegrate.

An End in Itself?

Sometimes the small group becomes a substitute for participation in the worship of the larger body. I have occasionally encouraged group members to attend Sunday services more regularly, but there wasn’t a positive response. Yet those same people would do everything they could to get to a small group meeting.

A bit of perspective might be in order. I’m happy to have a person involved in a small group even if he or she doesn’t attend anything else. Better some involvement than no involvement. It is helpful to keep in mind that we want group members to be involved in the full orbit of life in the congregation. I’ve seen people go from virtual dropouts to highly committed church members, in part through involvement in a small group.