Men's Ministries

Why is it that a successful men’s event or ministry in my church is so often followed by a total loss of momentum?

Do these stories sound familiar?

• You have a great men’s retreat with table discussions after the talks. The men all want to continue getting together with the guys at their table after the retreat, but 3 months after the retreat no one has actually connected.
• The pastor leads a men’s Bible study group. The first night there are 25 guys. By the fourth meeting the group has dwindled to 8.
• You have a great speaker as you launch your monthly Saturday morning men’s breakfast ministry. 30 guys come. The next month 20 come and one of the elders shares a devotional. The next month 10 come. Then it evens out at about 5.
• When Pete Jones was at the church, great things were happening with the men. He organized paint ball socials, the golf tournament, the December First Saturday “Let the Mom’s Shop” event when the men took care of the kids all morning at the church. Pete moved 2 years ago, and now nothing is happening in men’s ministry at your church.
• The pastor led a Wednesday night men’s study on Man In The Mirror. It went well. 8-10 guys were consistently there throughout the study. But, this year the pastor feels called to lead EE. So right now there is nothing going on in men’s ministry at your church.

A. Because men’s ministry is so difficult, successful events don’t automatically lead to success in subsequent events or ministries. The success of events is only maximized when they are fit into an overall strategy that meets the needs of men and moves them down the path of discipleship.

B. In effective men’s ministries, part of the planning for a men’s event includes how to capture the momentum of that event and use it to move men to connect with another aspect of the church’s ministry to men.

C. It is great to have a pastor or layman who is a champion for men’s ministry. These are two of the most important ingredients to sustain long term success in your men’s ministry. However those champions may leave or get busy with other ministries. That is why it is so important for that champion to build a lay men’s ministry team around him.

D. Saturday morning men’s breakfasts can work temporarily but it is rare that a monthly Saturday morning men’s breakfast will be effective for very long. The reason is that it is very limited as a vehicle for reaching the 2 goals of men’s ministry-helping men get connected to other brothers at the level of their spiritual life and giving them Biblical insight that is specific to their responsibilities and temptations as men.

• Their time is often too valuable to them to give up two hours on a Saturday morning just to hear a devotional. The Biblical content that is presented must be focused on his felt needs, and presented well.
• Excellence in the content, (not to mention the breakfast) is too difficult to obtain every month. A wiser plan is to have quarterly special events for men that are done with excellence, including excellent content that addresses the men’s felt needs.
• Monthly men’s breakfasts can be an important starting point for men to enjoy a surface level of fellowship. But the superficial discussion that happens at monthly breakfast is nowhere close to the brotherhood connection that God commands us to have as Christ followers. Monthly meetings can’t accomplish close connection.

What men’s ministry programs are working in the PCA?

A. Probably, all of them. There is no “key” program to copy. We’ve heard that the following resources have been used effectively in men’s ministry in the PCA:

• Numerous Books, DVD’s, and seminars from Man in the Mirror
• Studies of the WCF
• Galatians Bible Study, Church of the Redeemer
• Forging Bonds of Brotherhood booklet and program
• Desiring God book study
• Wild at Heart book and DVDs
• Great Dads Seminar
• Reading Paul Miller’s book, Love Walked Among Us
• Called to Sexual Integrity Seminar
• Dangerous Freedom Seminar
• Men’s Fraternity-weekly DVD’s with table discussion
• Top Gun-intensive weekly Bible Study with 2 hrs of prep.
• Brother Brigade-works as part of a Wednesday family night program

B. However, successful men’s ministry is not being achieved because of using any particular program. It is being achieved by churches with strong men’s ministry teams that have an effective long term strategy for building a disciple-making ministry to men. Without the right leadership and long term strategy, any program you use will be a flash in the pan.

C. That is why our strategy at CE&P is not to develop a men’s discipleship program. Many programs and materials already exist. Our strategy is to raise up men’s ministry coaches who can help our churches build men’s ministry teams that are equipped with an effective strategy for building a long term disciple-making ministry for men in their churches.

How do you build a sustainable disciple-making ministry for men in the local church?

A. Build a strong foundation.

1. Enthusiastic support and involvement of Sr. Pastor
2. Support of session
3. Men’s ministry champion/point man
4. Equipped, motivated men’s ministry leadership team

B. Follow a proven strategy for the church of the 21st century to disciple men This strategy is fully explained in the book, No Man Left Behind, written by three PCA authors, Pat Morley, David Delk, and Brett Clemmer. Here is a rough overview of the strategy:

1. Recognize that the men of your church will fit into one of 4 categories. a. Non-believers b. Those who would say they are believers but appear to be growing little as Christians. In the Bible belt, they could be called cultural Christians c. Believers who are pursuing discipleship d. Believers who are using their gifts to reach out to others
2. Another group might be called “hurting men,” which includes those struggling with addictions, divorce, the death of a loved one, etc. Hurting men could be in any of the above 4 categories of spiritual maturity.
3. An effective disciple-making ministry to men moves men along the spiritual maturity continuum towards greater spiritual maturity
4. Step one is to estimate roughly what percentage of your men are in each of the 4 categories of men on this continuum, 1) non-believers, 2) “cultural Christians” (immature believers or church going non-believers), 3) growing Christians 4) mature Christians (or leaders.)
5. Make a list of what you think are the primary heart motivations of each of these 4 categories.
6. Next, look back at the last few men’s activities at your church. Where on this continuum would you say each of these activities was targeted?
7. Looking ahead, what group do you believe God is calling you to target your next men’s event to?
8. List potential programs, events, activities, which appeal to the heart motivation of those in this target group. (eg, non-believer’s heart motivation might be fun and male camaraderie so a softball league would be great)
9. Plan a specific event for your men by designing an event that would have value to the men in the target group
10. Capture the momentum created by that event by designing the right next step (e.g. at the end of the softball season have a fun awards banquet for the whole team where a guy shares his testimony.)
11. As men move across the spiritual growth continuum, provide opportunities for them to build closer friendships with other men.
12. Give men who are starting to grow spiritually the tools they need to build a bond of brotherhood for encouragement and accountability.
13. Call men to be gospel-centered, kingdom disciples, i.e. help them see that in every area of their lives, they have an exciting calling to live out the reality of the gospel, participating in the redemption of the cosmos by making visible the invisible kingdom of Christ. Men love challenges; they are hardwired for mission.

C. Purchase a copy of No Man Left Behind or attend the Man In the Mirror seminar by this title. There is much more to effective men’s ministry than the above 13 steps.

D. Call on the services of a PCA men’s ministry coach to help you with the above process. Contact gyagel@forgingbonds.org

How do you obtain the pastor and session’s support?

A. Find out what the content is of the phrase men’s ministry in your session’s mind. Many PCA leaders associate the term “men’s ministry” with the Promise Keepers movement, which had its roots in the Vineyard movement.

B. Be sure your pastor and the rest of the session understand that by men’s ministry, you mean: the mobilization of some in the body to use their gifts to help the session disciple the men of the church.

C. Ask to meet with the pastor and/or session to get their ideas about men’s ministry.

D. After clarifying the term men’s ministry, ask the church leadership what their most important goals are for your church. Then explain to them how men’s ministry can help them achieve their goals.

E. Allow your pastor to have the role, at your men’s events, that he wishes to have. Some want to be the pastor. Others just want to be one of the men.

G. Be extremely loyal to your church leadership. As a men’s ministry and as a men’s ministry leadership team, be intentional in looking for ways to support and serve your pastor. Be known around the church as those who are loyal to their pastor. One men’s group had guys take turns cutting the pastor’s lawn each week. Another group gave the pastor the money to take his wife to a bed and breakfast.

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]How do you build a strong men’s ministry leadership team?

 

A. The most important principle is to find champions for men’s ministry.

• If they have a passion for men’s ministry, they will be self-motivated. The pastor or session will not have to twist their arms.

• Don’t assign an elder to be the point man for men’s ministry unless that is his passion. If you do, you will kill the passion for men’s ministry on the rest of the team.
• Since the men’s ministry leadership team is overseen by the session, not every member needs to meet the qualification for being a church officer. The key is their passion. If some elders have a passion for men’s ministry-great. They are welcome members of the team.
• The men’s ministry point man must first be a self-starter, highly motivated about men’s ministry in the congregation. He must also be spiritually respected in the congregation.

B. The second most important principle is to equip the team with an awareness of what is required to sustain an effective disciple-making ministry to men over the long haul. Tools for this equipping are mentioned under question 11.

C. The third most important principle is to constantly cast a vision for the importance of men’s ministry to the team along with encouragement and challenges to pay the price. If it were easy to build an effective men’s ministry, you would have already done it! The point is that it is difficult, discouraging, and opposed by the enemy every step of the way. The last thing Satan wants in the church is strong, spiritually connected men! He wants to bind our men in sin, guilt, and isolation. Then he can plunder their house.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]

What do men identify as their greatest spiritual needs?

Where Men Want Spiritual Help

1. With their marriages-the number one request on men’s surveys.
2. Battling sexual temptation-the temptation men struggle with most.
3. Getting control of their anger and becoming more patient.
4. Managing their personal/spiritual lives, sticking to the right priorities and spiritual disciplines. Investing their lives not just for success, but for significance.
5. Being the spiritual leader in their homes and knowing how to disciple their kids.
6. Seeing their job as a calling from God and receiving Biblical wisdom for tough, job-related issues.
7. Being more faithful in outreach to the lost. Most men feel like spiritual failures because they are doing little to share their faith.
8. Finding a brother for encouragement and accountability.
9. Knowing how to satisfy their hearts more by delighting in God.

The Root Need:

True discipleship is not behavior modification; it is heart transformation. It is not piling more discipleship tasks on the tired backs of men; it is leading them to the feet of Christ, in whose presence the inner desires and motivations of his heart are changed. The root need of every man is the gospel of grace deeply taking root in his soul.

Many men today are tired of the constant demands upon them to perform. They can’t provide for their family as they want to without working long hours. Instead of their home being the place where they feel appreciated and refreshed-it is full of exhausting demands to perform more.

Today’s Christian man is supposed to suck it up, rub it out, and keep performing. He carries a 100 lb pack on his back called his responsibilities. The daily pressure to perform increases the lure of various kinds of escape. More than one man has found that escape in a return to his drug days, an illicit affair, a growing dependence upon alcohol, a gambling addiction, or in the secret pleasures of viewing Internet porn.

The only true escape from this constant pressure to perform is the gospel of grace. Basking in God’s unconditional love, letting our failures drive us to our savior, is the only way the soul of a man can be refreshed, his strength renewed, and his heart re-energized to follow his calling.

The bigger the demands upon us, the more we need to shun the myth that we are self-reliant and let that pressure drive us to Christ for help. In his presence, we see that some of the pressure comes from our idols of success, respect, pleasure. In his presence we realize that God specializes in impossible situations and our faith is renewed. When we do fail, we remember that the greater our sin-the greater is the love of our savior in forgiving us.

Only the gospel of grace can transform the heart of a man-and that is the ultimate goal of discipleship.