CDM Archive

Discipleship Ministries of the PCA

Gary

Men’s Ministry Around the PCA

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Men’s Fraternity. More and more of our churches are finding that their men are responding very positively to this video material done by Robert Lewis. Here are a few contacts with churches that have used it:

Covenant Life PCA Sarasota, FL Dave Enslow dave@nextstepsformen.com

Covenant Pres Harrisonburg, VA: Jim Blair jimblairassociates@gmail.com

Park Cities Pres, Dallas: Pete Deison pete.deison@pcpc.org

Retreat Speaking and Seminars for Men.


TE Pete Alwinson, Dangerous Freedom, www.keylife.org

TE Gary Yagel, Recovering Biblical Manhood, Winning at Home, Becoming A Band of Brothers http://www.forgingbonds.org/speaking/

TE Harvey Kirkpatrick Grace and Men Conferences http://www.thegospelman.com/

Sexual Purity Resources


Harvest USA, Seminars and printed materials http://www.harvestusa.org/

Samson Society, Regional Support Groups http://www.samsonsociety.net/

Stonegate Ministries, Seminars & printed materials http://www.stonegateresources.org/

Grace Transformed Sexuality, seminar & men’s study http://www.forgingbonds.org/store/

Men’s Ministry Coaching


Dave Enslow, Next Steps For Men, dave@nextstepsformen.com

Gary Yagel, Forging Bonds of Brotherhood, www.forgingbonds.org

Man In the Mirror

Through CEP, the PCA has entered into a partnership with Man In the Mirror. They have excellent materials. Pat Morley is a graduate of RTS Orlando, and has had a long standing relationship with Orangewood PCA. David Delk and Brett Clemmer, the number 2 and 3 men at MIM are both PCA members and involved in the men’s ministry at their churches. Their website is www.maninthemirror.org

How to Help Men Love God More

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(Excerpts from The 2011 GA Seminar “Reaching the Heart of a Man”)

A good summary of the goal of men’s ministry is to help men better love God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. Bryan Chapel points out, “Spiritual change is more a matter of what our heart loves than what our hands do” (Holiness By Grace). So, what are the barriers that prevent our men from loving God more? There are many, but one of the most deeply rooted is the feeling that God’s basic attitude towards them (even though they are forgiven in Christ) is disgust, because of their sin. Many Christian men, who know that God loves them and forgives their sin, nevertheless feel inside that they are too dirty for a holy god to like very much.

Today’s Christian men have a lot to feel ashamed of. Some feel shame because they lost their job and are not providing for their families. Others feel ashamed because their grown children are not following Christ. A majority feel like they are not very good husbands. If that isn’t enough to feel ashamed of, there is always lust. Most Christian men would crawl under the table if some of their sexual fantasies were flashed up on a screen for their wife and daughters to see. For some reason, sexual sin makes us feel especially dirty.

Consider how shame affects a relationship. How would you feel about meeting your boss for breakfast once a week if he thought you were a disgusting human being to be loathed?

Shame totally destroys our desire to draw near to God.

The only antidote for the toxic shame that destroys the love relationship of believers with God is the gospel. The gospel is that I am more corrupt than even my foulest sins show, but at the same time more loved and valued than I ever dared to dream. By taking that truth deeply into our hearts our desire to know and love God grows. In the words of Tim Keller, “We can only change permanently as we take the gospel more deeply into our understanding and hearts.” Tim Keller, The Prodigal God. Here are 5 truths we leaders need to help Christian men deeply internalize:

1. God never tires of forgiving us. We cannot out-sin his willingness to match our sin with forgiveness! The well of his forgiveness towards those who are in Christ is filled by the eternal spring of his mercy. Paul makes this point in Romans 8:33: “Who would dare to accuse us whom God, himself has chosen. The judge himself has declared us free from sin.”

2. Bigger sin means we have a bigger savior. When a prostitute washed Jesus feet with her tears, he made the observation, “She who is forgiven much loves much.” Our biggest screw-ups are the best opportunity to grow to appreciate our savior’s love for us and what it cost him to bear our shame at the cross.

3. We are the delight of God’s heart. “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zeph. 3:17.) Scotty Smith asks, “What would it feel like in your heart to know that God not only accepts you, but that he richly enjoys you? To know that your company is his pleasure, your fellowship his joy, your face his delight? What effect would that have on how you think about God, yourself, others.” (Objects of His Affection.) You and I love to be in the presence of those who enjoy us!

4. Loving God and being loved by Him is the answer to our deepest longings. “You cannot say that our body was made for sexual immorality. It was made for God and God is the answer to our deepest longings.” 1 Corinth. 6:13. As CS Lewis said in his message, ‘The Wight of Glory,’ “We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

5. Life in Christ is not moralism. The gospel changes our view of failure. Paul wrote, “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest upon me” (2 Cor. 12:9). The gospel changes my view of the church. “The church is actually a place for people who are needy, afraid, confused, and quite sinful. But even more important than that, the church is a place for people who have been loved…and have no idea why. Each congregation is, as it were, a local chapter of ‘Sinners Anonymous'” (Steve Brown, What Was I Thinking). The gospel changes my view of self-reliance. “The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” (1Cor. 12:21). God has told us that his grace is sufficient for us but he has never promised us a private solution to our struggles with sin. The place where we find grace is in community-connection in the body of Christ. Christ disciples us through his body.

How can we help our men love God more? By helping them feast on the gospel of grace. Only those who know God will love them even if they don’t get better will ever get any better.

Note: The 2011 General Assembly Seminar, “Reaching The Heart of A Man” can be viewed in its entirety online for free at www.developingmen.com

Men’s Ministry Around the PCA

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2011 GAUpcoming General Assembly: Three Ways to Assist You to Build a Strong Men’s Ministry


1. Come by the PCA Men’s Ministry Exhibit (booth 331) to meet Harvey Kirkpatrick of the Gospel Man Fellowship, Dave Enslow of Next Steps For Men, and Gary Yagel the PCA men’s ministry coach.

2. Attend the Wednesday morning seminar led by Gary Yagel, Reaching the Heart of A Man. Description: Jesus had no problem attracting men. Fishermen dropped nets full of fish to follow him but sometimes we can’t get the men of our churchto drop their remote controls to be involved in our ministries. This seminar examines how God has hard-wired the masculine soul and how we can present Christ’s call to discipleshipto boys and men in a way that more fully engages their hearts.


3. Pick up a free copy of the men’s small group study, Grace Transformed Sexuality, at the PCA Men’s Ministry exhibit booth. Here is what is being said about this study: “I’ve been going through GTS with some of my high school guys. It is the best thing I’ve ever read on this topic. I need 15 more copies.” Derrick Harris, Youth Pastor, McLean Pres. “This material is excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent!” Chris Braddy, LtCol USMC Ret, Ruling Elder, Crossroads PCA, Woodbridge, VA.

Grace and Men Conferences: (Formerly called Gospel Man Conferences.) Grace and Men regional conferences were held in Gainesville, FL in February, in Atlanta in April, and in Annapolis in May. Regional conferences schedule for 2012:

Feb 4, 2012: Newark, NJ/NYCity: Nate Larkin : Grace Presbyterian Church

Jan 20-21, 2012: Orlando, FL: Nate Larkin & Ray Cortese: Orangewood Presbyterian Church

Apr 27-28, 2012: Atlanta, GA: Scotty Smith & Tullian Tchividjian: Perimeter Church

The Gospel Man fellowship has begun to offer a downsized conference to the local church, called, Grace and Men to You. The first was held at Covenant PCA in Chattanooga, TN in February. Such conferences work well in house or in the form of a retreat. For more information, visit the Gospel Man website.

New Reaching Every Man Trainer: Dave Enslow, the Executive Director of Next Steps for Men, has become a Field Network Trainer with Man In the Mirror. He has led the men’s ministry at Covenant Life Pres in Sarasota, FL for many years and is a highly qualified trainer and presenter of the PCA-approved seminar, Reaching Every Man. This excellent training is designed to equip your whole men’s ministry leadership team to build an effective, sustainable disciple-making ministry to men. Over 250 leaders from 8 PCA presbyteries have taken this training. For information about this training, visit the Next Steps for Men website.

Raising A Modern Day Knight: On Saturday night, Feb 26th, eight Christian Dads and their pre-teen sons met together for an informal ceremony to challenge the boys to grow up to be godly men. Each Dad gave public praise to his son for the young man he is becoming. The boys were challenged to live by a four-part code of honor: live pure, speak truth, right wrong, follow the King.The boys were then given a certificate to mount on their wall with their name and the call to authentic manhood.This call is to reject passivity, accept responsibility, and lead courageously.This was the follow-up action taken after the video series, “Raising a Modern Day Knight” at McLean Pres this past fall. Imagine the impact of this event in the lives of twelve boys, motivating them to pursue godly masculinity!

RTS Orlando Seminary Class on Men’s Ministry: Dr.Pete Alwinson, the founding pastor of Willow Creek Presbyterian Church in Winter Springs, FL has been teaching a course on effective men’s ministry for MDiv students. Pete is on the board of Man In the Mirror and has grown a substantial church on a model that stresses the discipleship of men.

More and More Churches Using Men’s Fraternity: More and more PCA churches have been showing the Men’s Fraternity DVD series, beginning with The Quest for Authentic Manhood. Here are just a few of the many PCA churches using it:

Covenant PCA, Harrisonburg, VA

Evangelical Pres, Annapolis, MD

Broadneck PCA, Arnold, MD

Park Cities PCA, Dallas, TX

To find out more about this ministry and how it fits into the PCA, read this article.

What a Son (Or Grandson) Needs to Grow into Authentic Manhood

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“The tendency today is to stress the equality of men and women by minimizing the unique significance of our maleness or femaleness… Confusion over the meaning of sexual personhood today is epidemic. The consequence of this confusion is not a free and happy harmony among gender-free persons …but more divorce, more homosexuality, more sexual abuse, more promiscuity, more social awkwardness, and more emotional distress and suicide that come with the loss of God-given identity.” John Piper, Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism.

Today’s feminized Western culture has declared war on masculinity. To mention any fundamental differences between the sexes is not politically correct. Moreover, our boys are being pressured to be more like girls and subjected to a relentless assault upon their masculinity. Robert Lewis writes, “You need to know, Dad, that your son and thousands like him are presently being stripped of their maleness by a modern, secular, feminist, culture. Over the last few decades this culture has steadily and relentlessly undermined healthy notions of what it means to be a man.” (Raising A Modern-Day Knight)

Our culture no longer views masculinity as a noble calling to strength, courage, and sacrifice but as a problem to be overcome. Ben Cartwright has been replaced by Homer Simpson. In discarding our Biblical foundation, postmodernism has jettisoned the call to sacrificial strength that has been heard by men dating back to antiquity. “So be strong, act like a man, and observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.”1 Kings 2:2-3 These dying words from David to his son indicate that in David’s time it was understood what it meant to act like a man. The boys growing up today have no such benefit.

Whether it is part of the creation design or the fall, every boy moves towards adolescence wanting to be seen as manly. In most cultures there is a code that defines what it is to be a real man. A boy is profoundly motivated to want to prove to the other men that he has what this code requires. Sometimes the culture has a ritual through which a boy proves himself and he is admitted to the fraternity of manhood. But even without a formal ritual, boys know that if they succeed in their many endeavors they add coins to their masculinity bank.

However, they lose coins when their behavior is deemed feminine. That is why womanly behavior is so damaging to a man. Males avoid anything that might drain their masculinity banks. If you doubt this, let me ask, “How do you feel when your wife asks you to hold her purse for a moment in public?”

Nearly every instinct in a boy’s heart is to resist appearing to be feminine. So, if he sees Christianity as feminine, what should we expect his attitude towards it to be? It is vital for sons growing up today to hear this message: “Christ’s call to follow him never denies your masculinity. Rather, it fulfills it, especially when you understand that to follow Jesus is to enlist in a war between two kingdoms.”

Here are five things a boy needs in order to grow into authentic, godly manhood:

1. A Vision of Godly Manhood. Robert Lewis, supplies this definition of masculinity: “A real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, and leads courageously for the greater reward.”(Raising a Modern Day Knight.) He needs a code of conduct,which stresses godly character and especially, strength. He also needs a winsome explanation of how to interact with girls and women. It is time for your sex talk, Dad.

2. The verbal affirmation of his father. He needs to hear, “I love you,” and “I’m proud of you.” Our model is God, the Father, who speaks audibly to the Son, “This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased.” Mar 1:10-11. A son also needs to have his masculinity affirmed by his father.

3. Time with his dad especially in the 9-12 years. The world, deadlines, contracts, and so forth will always be there-our children won’t. We have a very short window in which to have a major impact in our children’s lives.

4. To see the masculinity of Jesus. Boys love to hear the story of Jesus making a whip and driving the priests and money changers out of the temple, of hardened soldiers so awestruck by Jesus’ presence they said, “Never has a man spoken like this man.” They love to see Jesus get in the face of the scribes and Pharisees.

5. A strong men’s ministry in his church. Our sons need to grow up in a church where men have an identifiable presence as a band of brothers, committed to being warriors in the spiritual battle together.

(This material is from a seminar led by Gary Yagel entitled, Recovering Biblical Manhood. For more information visit the Forging Bonds website.

The Masculine Mandate: God’s Calling to Men

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Masculine MandatePostmodernity is peddling a disastrously feminized view of masculinity, surrendering men’s God-given roles to women and exalting a monosexualism that flies directly in the face of God’s purposes for creation. There is a crying need in the church today to recover a biblical view of manhood. But we must be certain that our vision of what a man is called to be is reached through sound exegesis of the texts relating to masculinity. Phillips’ excellent book provides that exegesis.

The starting place for understanding God’s intentions for a man is the garden, where God places man in a covenant relationship with Himself. Taking issue with John Eldredge, the author of Wild at Heart, Phillips observes that the masculine soul was not created for the wilderness but for a covenant relationship with God to be lived out in the garden. There, as both servant and lord of the created order, he is called to bring glory to God.

The masculine mandate is given in Genesis 2:15 where we read, “The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” The Hebrew word translated, “work,” is avad, also translated “serve,” “labor,” and “cultivate.” Men are called “to cultivate something worthwhile for the glory of God and the well-being of their fellow men,” (pa 13.)In subsequent chapters, Phillips applies this mandate for men to be worker-builders in the workplace, home and church.

The second part of the masculine mandate is found in the word, “keep.” The Hebrew word, shamar, is also translated, “watch over,” “guard,” “protect.” “A man is not only to wield the plow but also bear the sword. Being God’s deputy lord in the garden, Adam was not only to make it fruitful but also to keep it safe,” (pa 15.) To be a man is to stand up and be counted when there is danger or other evil to be faced. Phillips applies this calling to be protectors throughout the book. In our families, our presence is to make our wives and children feel safe and secure. At church we stand for truth and righteousness. In society we stand up against evil and defend our families and nation from danger.

In the second half of the book, besides his excellent application of the masculine mandate to our marriages, child rearing, and church life, Philips includes a chapter entitled, Men In Friendship. He draws upon the relationship of Jonathan and David for practical insight about male friendships.

In the final chapter, Phillips rightly points out that according to Eph. 4:15-16 each follower of Jesus is being discipled by Jesus right now, through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. I’m delighted to see Phillips make this point but he doesn’t go far enough. According to the text, Jesus disciples his body, not just through the Holy Spirit, but through each member of his body being connected to the other members of the body. This truth could have significantly strengthened his chapter on men needing male friends.

The book comes with discussion questions for each chapter. This is a must read for every men’s bible study in the PCA! To order a copy click here.

Sliding Down the Steep Slope Towards Pornography Addiction

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Studies reveal that 50-65 % of Christian men have significant problems with pornography and the problem is getting worse. Because most of the men in our churches are not equipped to battle lust from a grace-centric perspective, thousands are sliding down the steep slope towards pornography addiction.

forgingbonds.jpgGrace is the only force strong enough to overcome men’s toxic shame over their sexual lust and potent enough to change the heart desires that lead them into sexual sin. At the 2010 PCA General Assembly, Gary Yagel, The PCA Men’s Ministry Coach, led a seminar that identifies 7 grace-based principles, which change a man’s heart and his battle with lust. Now, the PowerPoint of this presentation is available to you for free (click here) and the audio of his presentation is available for $2 at Barker Productions.

Gary has shared these truths with over 20 churches in the PCA and received overwhelmingly positive responses (Check it out here). Here are a few, comments about the GA presentation. “Your presentation was excellent,” “Gary, I’ve gone to many presentations on sexual purity at GA over the years. Yours was the best presentation I’ve seen.”

In the Internet world of the 21st century, we must not wait to address this challenge until some frantic wife calls the pastor, because she caught her husband using porn, or a broken man asks for a Christian counselor who deals with addictions. Our strategy must be to equip all the men in our churches to fight the battle with sexual lust, before they slide down that slippery slope into a full blown addiction. Please download this PowerPoint, improve upon it, make it your own, and use it to help your men and young men!